Natural Pediatric Care

One thing I know very personally is pediatric medicine.  We have 4 children ages 3-9 (with another on the way!).  No world record, but we know babies, toddlers, and pre-teens.  (and looking forward to the teen years when the child suddenly knows more than mom and dad!)  

We have experienced the gamut of pediatric problems… allergies and spitting up, neurologic issues affecting school performance, bronchitis (in a 2 day old!), tummy and headaches, urinary tract infections, colds, strep throat, flu, chicken pox, fifths disease, random vomiting, potty training challenges, warts, bad cases of poison ivy (including the private parts!), eczema…what else?  I think we have seen and experienced all the common problems (not to mention all the emotional struggles).  

We have never visited a pediatrician, however, as we have been able to identify the problem, including the root cause, and apply a treatment (naturally) that effectively resolved the symptoms.  

The closest to a label we have experienced was our school mentioning the name dyslexia.  But, when brought to my attention, I devised a neurological processing treatment that resolved the symptoms, and there hasn’t been any mention of it since.  

I have thought about creating a website that is specific to pediatric needs…but first, you tell me if this would be of benefit to you and your kids.  

Gates has been going back and forth with potty training…he’s got it…oops, he’s not even close…  He also has some separation anxiety (mom of course), anger and aggressiveness (hurting) his twin sister, and some feeling sad or low self esteem when people won’t listen to him (good luck with 3 sisters!).  

Our main concern was helping him master the potty training, but I want to consider all symptoms, challenges, and difficulties when doing an assessment.

Now, with no real experience with pediatricians, but knowledge of medical protocols…what would your local pediatrician offer?  Stool softener?  Antidepressant?  Counseling?  A wish of good luck?  

Here’s what we did.  Using what is called indirect muscle testing, (using a third party), we asked his nervous system and energetic system what it needs.  We found a primary need in the part of the brain called the Amygdala, which is part of the limbic or emotional brain, plus the water element in eastern medicine.  

Oh great, that’s very useful!!!  (Obviously we translate into practical advice!)

That allows us to assess stressors…from a physical level, we discovered a couple immune challenges, including corn and peanuts, and heavy metals…a stress challenge (noradrenaline)…and an organ challenge (gall bladder).  Our process also allows us to assess remedies…again on the physical level… cilantro for heavy metals, probiotics and enzymes for food sensitivities (along with reducing intake), sage for stress, and choline for gall bladder.  

That might seem like a lot for a little kid (he’s 3), but it will most likely mean a few droppers of each tincture mixed into one bottle for one dose per day, and an open capsule of enzymes in his oatmeal or yogurt.  Our kids eat the probiotics straight up because they have chickory root in them, which tastes like sugar.  We certainly understand that it has to be easy or it just won’t happen!  

Moving to brain health, we know that this area of the brain is associated with fear, so we ask about the fear.  In his case, the fear is losing mom’s nurturing.  He wants to be a “big boy” but is conflicted with the comforts of mom’s closeness.  This is a classic values conflict…I want this (growing up) but I also want that too (nurturing from mom).  As adults, we know how a mother-son relationship evolves, and that a mother at 95 years old would give anything to a son of 70.  It never ends, it just changes.  

Gates doesn’t know that though…he sees a scary world, and if mom doesn’t stay in her protective role, he is a goner!  (to be more accurate, part of him sees it this way…another part is hungry to take on more).  But what a blessing to know his internal struggle and help him soothe his fears.  

Moving to energetic needs…the water element has to do with developing an ability to listen to internal cues and make a choice…safely and beneficially.  As this skill develops, a parent’s role and goal is reassurance.  “You can do this,” along with a careful watch, is the key to developing this internal guidance system that makes such an impact on his ability to be successful and handle failure in a positive way.  

Knowing his internal development process allows us to respond exactly to his current needs.  His potty failures are a clinging to mother protection…he simply needs reassurance of the choices that stand in front of him.  The choice for increasing independence is always scary.  Letting him know that he can do this may be all it takes.  We can reinforce with building value into making that choice…things he sees his big sisters do and have fun with…play dates, sleep overs, more choices, more options.  We can focus his little brain on the positives of a difficult choice.

We also have a physical treatment plan to soothe his energy system…acupressure points to stimulate that make the transition all that much easier, along with words to comfort, and natural medicine to increase his health and constitution.

I honestly don’t know how parents are parenting with-OUT this advantage!  Parenting is a challenge…and being a kid is a challenge…this just makes it soooo much easier on both ends.  

So…would this be of value to you as a parent?  Would it be helpful to know what your child’s internal fears are (or other emotional challenges), and have a game plan to soothe them…to know what the physical needs are to help your child stay strong and healthy in a toxic and stressful world…to know what the neurological needs are to help develop a resilient brain?? 

The Art of Referring

You are having wonderful results.  Your doctor is hilarious.  The staff is kind and helpful.  Your visits are more fun than most of the rest of your week.  You feel listened to and heard…cared for and guided.  You feel empowered and more confident.  You are grateful for your experience.  

And still, you can’t get so and so to pick up the phone and call Dr. Stone.  You watch them struggle, feel lousy, function lousy, complain loudly, take advice that clearly isn’t working…and you really care about them.  

What’s the deal!?  Can’t they see how much better you are doing?  Can’t they see that what they are doing is not working?  Why won’t they listen to you!?

First…know that this is not unusual.  I have family…I know how it works.  Our culture is soooo immersed in medicine, even my own kids refer to MDs as “real” doctors.  (Although I think they have my sense of humor and are messing with me.)

Your best probability for getting someone to try something new or different, and this is for anything, is to know your audience’s needs.  

If you communicate how our process meets their needs, their motive will change.  If their motive, or motivation changes,  their actions…and their result…will change.  

You know what you need, but it is different for everyone.  Something I said in an email, video, or wherever, MET YOUR NEEDS.  That is why you showed up and took the chance.  Some people are motivated by connection, others by making a difference, growth, certainty, variety or contribution.  Those are the basic human needs.

Some people will love to hear the excitement of your results, as well as patient testimonials, and case studies. They would appreciate to hear that our patient satisfaction rate in the past year and a quarter is 89%! 

For others it will just trigger an anxiety that it WON’T work for them.  

These people may be more motivated by your telling them that Dr. Stone really hears your problems…he really listens.  He takes his time, pays attention, and is really dedicated to helping you.  

Some people are tired of explaining what their problem is…what they need is some “scientific” security.  Again, met by our process…you might tell them how complete the lab testing is…that you have never seen anything so in depth.  It checks every system and identifies what EVER is wrong with you.

Still others have no faith in the testing…in fact, after spending a ton of money on testing, their doctor told them nothing was wrong with them.  These people may appreciate how unique this process is.  You can tell them how much different this process and protocol is than what they are used to.  “Check it out, see how different it is.  If you’re not wowed by how unique the examination and explanation is, don’t go back…but if you are, well, maybe it could be the right path for you.”  

Still others have no interest in different, or same, or differently same.  Who cares…nobody can tell me what is going on with my health.  These people will truly appreciate validation…that is the process of understanding what is wrong…that it’s not all in their head.  You can tell them that Dr. Stone looks at your health from a new perspective, and can tell you what is going on.  You will have a clear reason for and understanding of your symptoms by visit 2.  Get your exam and labs, and if he can’t explain to you why you have (whatever symptom), he’ll tell you and you don’t pay for that time (there is no cost for the second visit if care is not agreed upon and started)…if he can explain, he’ll then show you a precise plan to change that problem.  

How do you know what approach to take?  You really don’t.  But, now you have a few approaches to try.  You’ll know you got it right when they call you and thank you for the recommendation.   

One more thing…NEVER give advice without asking if they want it.  I go through a process with my kids that goes something like this.  “I see you are crying…what happened?  What did you do when that happened?  Would you like my help?”  

With an adult with a health problem…same steps.  Notice the pain… “You look exhausted, what’s going on?  (Inquire about action steps) Have you seen anyone about that?  What did they say?  What do you think about that?  (Inquire about results)  Is it working…is it getting better?  Are you satisfied with the explanation or result?  (If the problem is NOT being solved you can offer…) Would you like my advice?”  

Depending on your relationship with the person, you might even add, “Would you take my advice if it makes sense to you?”  Now you have permission to try all angles while asking, “Does that make sense?”  “Does that make sense?”  

I have had people tell me that they have referred over 30 people, and none had actually taken action.  They observed an unresolved problem.  They offered a potential solution.  But no action.  

They also missed one of the points I have mentioned.  Did they ask permission, inquire into the situation to see if there was a perceived problem to solve (sometimes just asking if it is working will draw attention to the fact that it is NOT!), did they consider the different needs that people have, and connect their solution to that persons needs?  Something in that list was missed.  

Having that experience…telling people what you believe is valuable and not having them take your advice… is a major emotional trigger for people…called feeling ignored.  Using these basic steps will not only increase your ability to help other people, it will also reduce your upset and frustration.

Happy referring! 

I’m Depressed!

One of my clients recently wondered out loud if she should just “get something” for her depression.  It reminded me of the strange (in my opinion) associations we have with depression.

First of all, we think depression is a thing…some “thing” that attacks us like a virus, and we need the anti-biotic (anti-depressant) to be cured of it.  Second…there is nothing that can be done other than this magic pill, because it’s a “chemical imbalance in the brain,” and genetic, so it is our parents fault.  

One more…we (some?) also have an association that depression means we are “crazy” in some way, or something is wrong with us, so we rationalize that it is some-thing we are powerless to help…but thankfully, there is a drug.  

Personally, I think it is crazy NOT to feel depressed at times.  

Here’s more of my crazy opinions on depression…

Depression is normal.  If it is physiological…like from low thyroid…it is part of your body (regulation), saying…stop, rest…heal.  

If it is psychological, it’s not crazy-ness…it’s more lacking a resource to solve a problem.  

In either case, if it becomes chronic…over 6 weeks for instance…your body needs something to heal (my specialty)…or you are not “seeing” the problem, unconsciously attempting to ignore the problem, and “depress” the feeling.  (I also am quite an expert at pointing out your problems!)

Now, before someone yells at me for suggesting they are ignoring a problem…let me explain.  This is done unconsciously…it’s a reflex and you cannot NOT do it.  As I mentioned in another article, we are hardwired to look away from our own blood…and this applies to all painful experiences.  And just like with a bleeding wound, health comes from forcing ourselves to look at the problem and deal with it.   

I can’t tell you how many times I was surprised to hear anger come out of me towards my amazing and wonderful wife…only to figure out I had been “ignoring” a problem that I didn’t know how to fix.  Sometimes that outburst is the first clue that you get consciously.  And also the reason I practice and preach noticing the negative.  The better we notice, the less depression, and the less outburst-ing.

Another “weird” opinion…  All symptoms are messages, including the symptom of depression.  It is a signal that a change is needed…perhaps health…perhaps life…but definitely a change.  Using a Five Element model in my practice…which is something like the “life wheel,” requiring balance in all areas…it offers insight into both life and health.  It will not only tell you if you need less inflammation, it might say you need less defending…or better boundaries…or guide you toward the resource you need to resolve whatever problem you are experiencing.  

Seriously, I check all my life problems against the wisdom of the five elements…through muscle testing.  Every “problem” reveals a hidden hurt, upset, or a pattern of behavior that is keeping you in the problem.  And I can say with absolute certainty…no exceptions…the patients that do the best in my care are willing to hear any problem that comes up…large, small, ugly…even funny…and willing to respond to the problem…very important.  

Last “different” opinion...since depression is normal…and really a blessing…I might suggest we are all crazy…and dumb.  And, we all have pure genius within us as well…Regulation.  Regulation is “that something” that keeps our heart beating, lungs breathing, cells healing, adapting to life, and so forth.  Medications by definition are suppressors of the messages (symptoms such as depression) that we receive from Regulation.  If we choose to put into practice the skill of listening and responding to these messages, our lives becomes much more comfortable…sometimes even easy.  

Would you agree that an easy life is more enjoyable than a “hard” life?  Then embrace your depression and look for the message it is bringing you.  KNOW that Regulation is grabbing your attention, for a very good reason, and that reason is ALWAYS for your greater enjoyment in life.  

Disclaimer…I am not suggesting that a person should NOT medicate, as if my health strategies are an either/or with medicine.  I will use pharmaceuticals…AND, begin the process of inquiring into what the message is attempting to bring up for me.  Or, if the message is not so severe, ie. mild depression (or whatever symptom), I will just endure the discomfort and use the symptom as an indicator to know if I am on the right track.  Hint…the message will quiet when you are on the right track. 

Caution: Dangerous Bug Sweeping Nation

I have seen an outbreak of this in my practice, and many people are infected worldwide.  It is life threatening (depending on your definition of life), and it is contagious.  (mostly spread from parents to children.)

Signs of the infection:

“Should-ing” on yourself.  If you notice yourself frequently feeling unworthy because you should really be getting something done, you are probably infected.  

Bipolar behavior…happy when you do what you should and depressed when you don’t.

Tourette behavior…uncontrollable verbal outbursts, commonly heard as “idiot!,” “what’s wrong with you!?,” and “oh, my god!”  (Spoken to self)

If you have any of these symptoms…you may be infected…with a dangerous bug called Self Loathing!  (Don’t worry, it is curable with the right medicine)  

Step one: Notice who is should-ing on who.  Awareness that you are infecting yourself (and your kids, as they model your behavior, for better or worse) is half the challenge.  Once you notice, you can even make a point to pay attention to the positives, to override the habit of focusing on the negative.  The fact is you should never do anything you “should” do…you should only do what you want to do!  Consider the results also…you might want to eat a quart of ice cream, but do you really want to feel bloated and sleepy?  

Step two:  Try this attitude on for size:  We are born with ZERO resources.  We poop in our pants, our communication is terrible, we sleep a lot (Lazy!), we hardly accomplish anything in a day, and depend entirely on someone else for our basic needs.  WE ALL START THAT WAY!  No Resources.  

And, EVERYTHING WE TRY, we fail.  We screw it up.  We want to walk like all those big people around us, so we pull up, get on two feet, and BOOM, we take a header into the coffee table.  (Stupid…idiot…what is wrong with me!?)  But, since we don’t have that language (yet!), we simply notice that letting go too soon caused pain…or leaning too far to the right led to a poor result.  We added some experience and a tiny bit of resource.  

Somewhere, somehow, we developed a thought stream that failure is stupid, and stupid is bad.  It causes us to focus on the mistake and not the experience…or the resource.  What a block to growth!  

Imagine expecting failure in early attempts at anything and everything.  Good salespeople have this attitude…they expect 10 failures for every success.  Imagine looking for the wisdom in every failure.  Heck, we might actually become wise, or get up to 1 success for every 5 failures!  

Step 3:  This attitude is caused by a hypersensitivity to “Ignorance” AKA being stupid.  Hypersensitivities are shaped in our nervous system through experience.  That means that the reason you are so offended by stupid or ignorant people is because you had the experience of feeling stupid or ignorant.  

It might have been one BIG experience of Mom or Dad really getting mad because you made a mess out of something, or it can be slowly carved by the messaging of our culture…stupid is BAD!  We have “You’re stupid” looks and gestures…we laugh at painful mistakes, even have home video TV shows that highlight mistakes and pain.  I don’t mind the laughing, I find myself hilarious at times…what is missing in our culture is the value of mistakes (failure, screw ups, etc.).  The value of failure, if we focus on the value… is growth.  The detriment of focusing on the stupid-ness of the mistake is lack of growth.  

So we all have these hypersensitivities, what do we do?  

Hypersensitivity responses, in my experience, are best treated with acupressure tapping.  If you search for EFT, or Emotional Freedom Technique, you can easily locate and download a full system tapping protocol that works well.  Armed with your tapping regimen, you relax and recall the memories of stupidity.  As you recall the ones that make you squirm, or some emotional response, you perform the tapping.  As you approach the end of the tapping, you look for the value in that experience…you want to finish with a resource…some gathering of wisdom.  Repeat on every look you got from momma, embarrassing school experience, big trouble, etc.  And if you can’t find the resource in the experience…just tap and move on to step 4.  

Step 4:  When you notice the results…and you notice that they are not what you want…just like the baby, reach out your hand for stability.  Look to people with specialized knowledge, people who have already mastered walking, and make it look easy (or whatever you are trying to master)…and ASK FOR HELP. 

One common sign of infection (infected with self loathing) that I see in my office is not doing the diet right (eating “bad” foods) and not taking the supplements right (missing doses).  As well as, “I don’t exercise enough, stay up too late, don’t drink enough water, meditate, etc., etc.”  All those things you “should be doing!”  I often reply… “Oh, you too!?”  And then share how I am not doing what I “should be doing.”

I am a collector of resources, however, and I have managed to improve my health all while NOT DOING MANY THINGS I SHOULD BE DOING.  For instance, exercise…I pay gym dues and go to the gym about twice a month…but I have found a way to keep in decent shape with 5 minutes a day…in my office, or at home.  I eat pizza and chocolate several times a week, but have developed multiple ways to “pay off” my indulgences.  I don’t meditate but have found a way to calm my mind by tapping on my face.  I don’t stretch but I use exercises that challenge a full range of motion and increase flexibility. 

And every resource I have found, I found through asking.  Sometimes I ask by reading a book by someone who has mastered something I wish to master.  Sometimes by asking a colleague or friend, and others by hiring an expert.  

And, I choose my experts carefully…a white coat and big clinic do NOT equal expert in health.  Most of these people are experts in naming your disease and helping you manage it for life.  Success to that kind of expert is slowing down the progression of your disease.  

The experts I choose always fit my life philosophy.  I know that some of my experts are more expert than others, and I value their advice more heavily.  I know who my experts are and what they stand for. 

This way, I get advice that works for me to increase my growth process, and accumulation of resources.  And that makes life easier (nice!).

There you go…if you are infected…and chances are you have at least a mild case…you now have the 4 step de-lousing formula!!  I have been delousing for years, and still have some signs of infection.  These are grooves in our subconscious that can go pretty deep.  Follow this formula and you will notice improvement (not perfection), that just might approach perfection as you grow and increase resources.  

And remember, you will never have ALL resources, so you will always be “stupid” to some degree, in some fields, in some ways…don’t fight it, join the team!