What I DID get...

I am thankful for understanding this energy…for 2 reasons.  1. I can more effectively help people!! (Yay!).  and 2. I am really thankful that I am beginning to understand people who aren’t me! 

There have been enough people ‘like me’ to help…and make a living with my unique value…BUT…seeing the perspective of those NOT like me really opens the doors to helping! 

‘Like me’ looks like this:  Sensitive to the point of allergies, anxiety, depression…self critical to the point of autoimmune conditions (I’m on my 2^nd!) and overwhelm.  And reactive to the point of exhaustion, defensiveness, and PAIN…

‘Like me’ is created by asking the question, “what is wrong with me…” on a multi-daily basis.  Go ahead…ask away…you get the above!!

‘Not like me’ includes this pattern… “I don’t GET it!”  I always put my attention on what I did get.  A small thanks.  And now I see it…here’s how I saw…

I had this experience of some (most) people walking out of my experience saying to Laura…’what the hell just happened?  I don’t get it.’  At first, I was annoyed and frustrated…because that’s now how I think. 

I did 3 years of post-doctoral neurology…300 hours…and I got 2 things.  1. You and your brain transforms and becomes WHATEVER you practice.  2. I don’t like neurology.  And…I…was…completely satisfied with the result.  My brain is practiced at finding solutions…because I practiced feeling ALONE.  You know…do it yourself…or it ain’t getting’ done.  AKA…if you don’t GET IT…nobody is coming to help.  So I focused on what I do GET.  

And for a LOOOONG time…It included a careful analysis of… “what is wrong with me.”  The FUNNY thing is…the ANSWER…was that crappy QUESTION!  Haha…uuuh…that’s the pain of my life you are laughing at.  

So I was having this experience…of people not getting me…and one of my most brilliant patients showed up for me!  She came to a group we offered, and seemed grumpy.  The rest of us were laughing…and she was frowning!  

She showed up FOR ME…for THIS…it turned out that she didn’t understand something (even brilliant people start from ZERO)…and decided (for my and your benefit) to be mad about not getting that point…for the ENTIRE 2 hours!  

Bless her…that is a big sacrifice to make…to help me get this point.  And a BIG point it is…

If you have FAITH…TRUST…in God…Nature…Love…Karma…ANYTHING…!!!  You PRACTICE that faith by TRUSTING that every moment you get exactly what you NEED.  

Of ALL the details of neurology and nerve pathways…I GOT one thing…  TWO if you consider ‘not being on the right path’ a learning experience.  (You will be served to consider that!!)

So now…I tell my patients…you aren’t SUPPOSED to ‘get’ everything…you are supposed to get ONE THING.  And it is good for your heart and soul…to TRUST…that it is the RIGHT thing.  

Go ahead…you will know…cuz it will ‘hit home’ or ‘make sense’ or somehow ‘ring true.’  

PLEASE…don’t regret or mourn what you didn’t get…LOVE and cherish what you DID GET!!!!!

Disappointment

The five elements philosophy suggests that there are people who attract disappointment.  It suggests the reason, cause or initiating factor to be an experience of, “fear with a lack of acknowledgement or reassurance.”  These people have a “Water” imbalance.  

Water, in nature, is “the transformable.”  Flexible, sensible, it holds the energy of gratitude.  It holds patience, to create the Grand Canyon.  It can transform to fury…the death and destruction of a flood or tsunami.  

Water imbalanced people have problems with choices…they are either too frozen to make a choice, or too flexible and invite gullibility and “bad” choices.  Leaving them disappointed.  It is disappointing to see the results of no action…being frozen.  And disappointing to see people always letting them down (bad choices).

But water, void of fury or freeze, chooses instantly and never chooses poorly.  How is that possible??  It follows one simple rule… ‘The path of least resistance.’  But always towards its’ goal.  

A thinking human doesn’t have it so easy.  We can’t SEE the path of least resistance toward our goal.  It’s possible to see so clearly…and with practice, it can happen.  

But what SHOULD humans do when lost or confused?  Right…ask for direction.  Male humans too!! 

 

The energy of asking is the nourishment for water imbalance…for disappointment.  

If you are not sure if your partner would be more pleased with eggs or pancakes…you ask.  Yet a water person will make eggs and be disappointed with the response. 

If you are not sure of a person’s value to you, you ASK if they can provide eggs or pancakes or oatmeal, and choose your favored from the set of their possibilities (or decide to make your own!).  A water person would want oatmeal, and be disappointed with the eggs offered.

If you are not sure of a person’s willingness, you ASK if they are willing to meet your need.  Yet a water person… HOPES…that the person in front of them…will meet their need…without sharing what it IS! 

If you relate to water folks…try asking more.  Yeah, it sounds stupid and simple…but that is life…stupid and simple.  Ask of…would you be willing to…(whatever you want / need).  Ask permission…may I do this for you?  Ask in-to…how does that feel?  

Use your flexible nature to be flexible to the response…and ASK for more / different…do NOT use your flexibility…to put up with the disappointment. 

Gotta Be Brave!

Being a healer…and a human… requires bravery.  

What brought this to mind was an office visit that ended very badly.  I am pretty sure this patient thought I was a complete ass, and found no reason to ever see me again.  

Here’s the bravery.  When you see behavior that is a contradiction to health and progress, it takes bravery to confront, or directly face and address, the issue.  

It reminds me of one of the earliest stories of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming).  One of the subjects of NLP study, Milton Erickson, who was a therapist known to have remarkable patient RESULTS, despite (or because of), his unorthodox techniques.  The founders of NLP studied the way he spoke, words, inflection, movements…everything…to see if they could see the “steps” of success.  

In one story, he met with a new client.  She explained her story…a lifetime of weight and self esteem issues…and she was ready to change.  All he said, and I don’t have the exact quote, was something like…

“I suggest you get accustomed to being fat, because you will never change.”

That was it.  She was furious and stormed away.  Except that….about a year later, she returned, having lost a vast amount of weight, to THANK HIM.  As she lost the weight, she recognized what he did.  Without pay…without appreciation…he GIFTED her success!  Perhaps he saw a strong rebel energy in her, and she just needed someone of significance to PROVE WRONG.  

If he had stroked her hand and told her she could do this…she would have failed…again!  And RESULTS…are all that matters.  (Certainly over being nice or doing it the “right way.”)

I have never been THAT brave, but I will challenge people…and sometimes end sessions with more fury than appreciation.  Every time I challenge, I am giving my best attempt at pushing through something that is harming the patient in front of me.  Maybe my best isn’t good enough…or maybe leaving upset is exactly what that patient needs.  I don’t know…as always…check the results.  

My preference is to achieve a change in perspective…to see the situation differently…and make the necessary change…without stress or upset.  We are getting pretty amazing results, and I rarely see this kind of upset, so I’d say my preference is being achieved way more than not.  (And not everyone needs pushing…or has enough “push” walking in).  

The very next day (after my upset patient)…it happened again.  I saw a sticking point.  I pushed lightly…harder…and harder!  And she responded right there.  This time it ended in hugging…and yes, I prefer that!  BUT…I won’t chicken out…at the sacrifice of RESULTS.  

Where do YOU need to be brave…to confront (face and address directly)…a sticking point in your life?  In YOU?  In a relationship?    

Resolution...failed...again

My resolution was to stay positive…respond to people, news, concepts, ideas with an uplifting message.  Failed already.  

I don’t think I am an overly negative person, but I often make fun of other ways of doing things, particularly the mainstream medicine approach to chronic conditions.  Sometimes I even get frustrated and defensive about the ideas and actions of medicine.  

For example, the overuse of antibiotics…very personal to me, since that was how I began my life…many rounds of antibiotics followed by a nasty autoimmune disease that nearly took my life.  (ITP, the platelet disorder).   Twice last year this subject came up…I gave my little rant (in a sense, saying, “that’s stupid”)…and both times I think I offended the person I was talking to.  Well, one for sure, because she let me know!  

So, I resolved to stay positive…whenever something comes up that incites making fun or defensiveness, my plan is to share something positive in the other direction.  For example,if I saw a little toddler with food allergies and a history of antibiotic use, instead of ranting about how damaging antibiotics are, I’ll post something on the success of our immune protocols.  

Simple, right…and really, far more productive if my goal is teaching, and even influencing others to use natural medicine.  But I failed, and I won’t get into my defensiveness, but I will share my positive message. 

It is the message of ignorance.   I write about ignorance frequently, because I think it is truly “enlightened wisdom.”  And if it ain’t, it’s at least a less stressful way of living.  

I want to invite you to join me in working toward the complete acceptance and appreciation of our own ignorance.  

Ignorance is defined as the lack of knowledge or information.  Knowledge is defined as awareness of fact or truth.  But what the heck is a fact…and even more muddled is the concept of truth.  They say mathematics is exact and true, but quantum physicists are showing that depending on perspective, even math rules change.    

Here is an idea…a concept that could challenge your facts and truth…and the first lesson of ignorance.  If we “know” how things are, the moment anyone says something that conflicts with our “truth,” we tune out and start creating our rebuttle.  But if you accept ignorance, you can hear ANY concept and “try it on for size”…see if it fits comfortably…see if it enhances your life, or decreases your stress.  Maybe it doesn’t, and you toss it aside and maintain your truth, but at least you heard it.  (Knowing prevents learning) 

The idea or concept: I believe that there is no such thing as fact…or even truth.  Everything is based on perspective.  Oh, we could go back and forth a million times, so let’s offer up a couple truths that are merely perspective.  

‘The sun comes up every morning.’  Check your facts with someone living in Alaska.  

‘Giving to others is good.’  Check your facts with someone who has been robbed at gunpoint.  

Perspective. 

 

If you have a desire for wisdom, I believe the first step is ignorance.  Letting go of truth or fact…and allowing the absorption of perspective.  When you see from the perspective of all people, you see from the perspective of God.  (And I’m ok calling that universal intelligence the Zero Point Field, or Prana, or Chi or Qi, depending on your perspective)

As soon as you buy into fact, you begin deleting people and perspectives.  And you delete awareness and wisdom.  For example, some people who believe in Christianity, also believe that everyone else is wrong, and would not gather wisdom from a Buddhist teaching.  And the same thing happens with men and women, democrats and republicans…there’s a good example of not hearing another perspective…politics!  

Imagine a political world where both republicans and democrats stopped defending their point and listened, absorbed, and tried on the others opinion.  And, since they are working for the same thing, our country, they compromised, and sought a best solution that included both perspectives.  Wow!  Only through letting go of truth.  

Now, the reason this is a resolution is that I am a long way from this unifying, serene existence.  I have lived in a culture that rewards being right, and penalizes being wrong, and the difference between the two is standardized from a culture that is hardly “getting it right.”  I’ve practiced being right and veiling my ignorance all my life.    

So…I am not very good at being ignorant.  As I mentioned, I have this tendency to make fun of or make wrong any ideas outside mine.  I have resolved to practice step one toward universal wisdom…stop defending my perspective.  I will work on seeing the other perspective, and with practice, I may develop that awareness.  What I believe I can do, right away, is turn any defensiveness or rightness into something positive, and stop tearing others down.    

Will you join me?  We can keep expectations low…so we can’t fail.  None of us are GOOD at ignorance.  We’ll still react with what we have practiced for so long…but when we feel that “bad” feeling, we can notice it…take a breath…and (try to) stop defending our truth, redefined as our perspective?  We do NOT have to give up our perspective to see someone else’s.  We just have to stop defending ours, which could allow us to actually see or hear theirs.  

And what is there to defend.  Most truths have been discovered inaccurate or incomplete.  And the rest likely will be found inaccurate in the next generation…or the next.  So what are we defending!?  As awareness expands…as Columbus failed to fall off the edge…truth changes.  

I still defend…and I did so very recently.  But I am acknowledging the defensiveness and turning it into a positive through sharing my perspective. 

I know I can stay positive…I do it regularly.  I know I can notice the defensiveness…I know the feel, I know the language, and I can pay attention.  I know I can choose to respond differently.  Maybe not always in time…but I will notice and make another choice.  And practice…and practice. 

And that is one “truth” that has stood the test of time…across all generations and lifetimes, all human experience has shown that whatever you practice, you get better at…and what a great thing to practice.  Stop defending, and offer a positive, perhaps uplifting message.   

I hope you will take this seriously and join me in taking a step toward accepting ignorance.  It’s impossible to deny…we are, in fact, quite ignorant on many subjects.  Join me in Trying…Practicing!  

Imagine the result….

“You, Dr. Stone, are a pompous idiot.”  

“Really…that is a VERY interesting perspective…what led you to believe that?”  

Wouldn’t that be a LESS STRESSFUL way to move through life?  Could you imagine how that person would respond if you didn’t reject their perspective?  Seems worth practicing…