Gotta Be Brave!

Being a healer…and a human… requires bravery.  

What brought this to mind was an office visit that ended very badly.  I am pretty sure this patient thought I was a complete ass, and found no reason to ever see me again.  

Here’s the bravery.  When you see behavior that is a contradiction to health and progress, it takes bravery to confront, or directly face and address, the issue.  

It reminds me of one of the earliest stories of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming).  One of the subjects of NLP study, Milton Erickson, who was a therapist known to have remarkable patient RESULTS, despite (or because of), his unorthodox techniques.  The founders of NLP studied the way he spoke, words, inflection, movements…everything…to see if they could see the “steps” of success.  

In one story, he met with a new client.  She explained her story…a lifetime of weight and self esteem issues…and she was ready to change.  All he said, and I don’t have the exact quote, was something like…

“I suggest you get accustomed to being fat, because you will never change.”

That was it.  She was furious and stormed away.  Except that….about a year later, she returned, having lost a vast amount of weight, to THANK HIM.  As she lost the weight, she recognized what he did.  Without pay…without appreciation…he GIFTED her success!  Perhaps he saw a strong rebel energy in her, and she just needed someone of significance to PROVE WRONG.  

If he had stroked her hand and told her she could do this…she would have failed…again!  And RESULTS…are all that matters.  (Certainly over being nice or doing it the “right way.”)

I have never been THAT brave, but I will challenge people…and sometimes end sessions with more fury than appreciation.  Every time I challenge, I am giving my best attempt at pushing through something that is harming the patient in front of me.  Maybe my best isn’t good enough…or maybe leaving upset is exactly what that patient needs.  I don’t know…as always…check the results.  

My preference is to achieve a change in perspective…to see the situation differently…and make the necessary change…without stress or upset.  We are getting pretty amazing results, and I rarely see this kind of upset, so I’d say my preference is being achieved way more than not.  (And not everyone needs pushing…or has enough “push” walking in).  

The very next day (after my upset patient)…it happened again.  I saw a sticking point.  I pushed lightly…harder…and harder!  And she responded right there.  This time it ended in hugging…and yes, I prefer that!  BUT…I won’t chicken out…at the sacrifice of RESULTS.  

Where do YOU need to be brave…to confront (face and address directly)…a sticking point in your life?  In YOU?  In a relationship?