Sav-n-Sac Genius

These are my girls…Savannah #1…and Sacred #2.  They have been raised in an environment where “being right” is not a goal.  Oh… please…don’t think we are making our choices because we think we are smarter than anyone…we are MOST certain we are doing everything wrong.  

But…an interesting experiment none-the-less!  Dad is completely insane…and instead of following normal structure…found guidance in some weird concept of eastern medicine called the five elements.   This weird concept…or philosophy…suggests that our ONLY job is to be the most amazing and UNIQUE YOU ever.  It suggests that you CANNOT screw it up, because you are the only YOU ever…so the game is fixed…you will certainly be the most amazing and unique you EVER.  

Then it suggests that we have this strange drive toward contribution and significance…which creates this very uncomfortable need to be of VALUE to others.  All within our own weird-ness. 

Well…so far…here is an example of what they have uniquely created.  A game.  Each player is given a certain number of lines to create anything (drawing lines)…with the goal to be the most comprehensible to others.  At each stage, the number of lines available decreases…so at some point, you only have ONE line to get someone to comprehend your message.  

Mom and Dad are the contestants.  They take us through 10 lines…down to 2 lines (they found at 1 line, there was not enough expression to be unique…playing by themselves, they both got pencil).  Our job is to identify the drawing as intended…their intention…to convey THEIR meaning.  If we got it right, they get a point.  

Mom and Dad…being raised in a structure of “being right” think the game is our ability to perceive.  And Mom kicks Dads butt…she is more “right” than Dad!  Butt…they were wrong…not right…and the game is the ability to convey a message…and Sacred wins with simplicity.  Savannah thought too much..and created too much complexity for us to understand her meaning (just a couple points…still better than ME). 

As Mom is celebrating…which technically, she did win our game of right-ness…our genius children announced that Sacred won.  She won the ability to convey a message with simplicity...we weren’t even in the game.  

And this...perhaps the greatest lesson of life…conveying a message with simplicity so that others can ‘get it’ …is what our (un)schooled children created…as a game.  Practicing something I have struggled with all of my life…for FUN!  

Perhaps…as parents…we should stop talking…long enough…to hear the genius of children…

Desperate Times...

I see some people at the brink of desperation.  Literally, I have had people say that if I couldn’t help, they were going to accept death.  If you are near or even on the desperation spectrum, this article is for you.  This is for helping you find your path…the GOOD path…even if doesn’t include my sage guidance…

This is my advice…my offering of direction….

First, you have to daily, if not hourly, remind yourself that every symptom is a message about caring for your needs.  Picture a old, wise guru, giving you the most painful advice you have ever heard…and even though it hurts like crazy to hear it, you know from the kindness in his eyes that he loves you and wants you to find your direction and soar. 

 

Next, get the book, Spontaneous Healing, by Dr. Andrew Weil.  When you bathe your brain in healing and possibility, you tune your focus and attention to healing and possibility.  It’s as simple as this…if you focus on finding blue, you miss a ton of red in your environment.  By tuning into healing, you will come across (find, discover) the resources you need to heal.  My book, “When Did Natural Become The Alternative,” was written with this same purpose.  My book is just a few bucks to buy onAmazon.  Dr. Weil’s book can likely be found for a buck at a second hand book store. 

 

Adopt the attitude of the “Curious Scientist.”  To the curious scientist, every failure is an indication of a need for change…and change what…VARIABLES.  Nothing more.  Doesn’t mean you are an idiot…you are NOT supposed to know…that’s the point of a scientific experiment…which your life IS.  You are here to find the variables that work for you…only YOU.  So you change variables and get curious… “What do you think will happen?”  The curiosity, which could drift into excitement, will push back against the depression of feeling helpless.  

If you don’t know what to do, how the heck do you change variables?!  Well, you know more than you think.  Remember that plant medicines are to your organs and systems, what your dinner plate is to your body…they meet a specific needs (soothing, stimulating, nourishing, healing!).  So you could walk into a store that sells plant medicines, and pick the one that you most like the name of.  Just TRUST that you are drawn to the name because it is meant for you.  

You could ‘google’ “your symptom + relief or remission or cure” and find a story of someone who overcame a very similar condition or situation, and just model their behavior.  Do what they did…and be curious as to what will happen.

You could do your own research.  And with your brain tuned in to healing, you will likely find something of value.  The National Library of Medicine (you will need to search “your condition or symptom herbal medicine or alternative medicine”), Mercola.com, and the Life Extension Foundation are well referenced resources with tons of content.  Now you have a variable with some research behind it.  Add one, get curious, and pay careful attention to the results.  

All the while, you must adhere to my dietary guidelines.  I have a short video HERE!  And relax, I am not of the mindset that dietary perfection is the only path to healing.  You will find them much easier to follow than most.  

You must also meet your life needs.  Go to the “Resources” link on our website, and scroll down to find a document called “The Five Energy Needs.”  Read and memorize the scripting in that article.  Use it to meet your boundary needs and desire needs.  Five percent more each week (aka…a step at a time).  

You will have ups and downs…everyone does.  Remind yourself that you are at least as normal as Dr. Stone.  Your health will change in direct correlation to your ability to interrupt your ‘down’ patterns.  Focus your attention on finding pattern interrupters that work for you.  

Which would be…Anything that changes your perspective or alters your focus.  

I spent my most helpless times watching a film called “What the Bleep Do We Know.”  Others can interrupt by reading the Bible or something uplifting and empowering.  My wife made me a video of old pictures set to music.  I find it quite impossible to not feel gratitude and appreciation seeing pictures of the kids growing up. 

 

I realize this isn’t the list you quite expected.  But, it’s my best advice after seeing thousands of patients wanting to change!  And…it appears…based on the tally of results …that I am pretty good at this thing…

A Child's Plea...

Dear Mom and Dad,

"Hi...it's me...I want you to know that I have a hard time understanding and sharing my feelings, but I will do my best.  The truth is that I am very afraid…I am afraid that I am not good enough for you.  I feel like I am a bother, annoyance, and even a burden to you.  I am afraid I am not important to you.

I know you say you love me…but I FEEL more than hear.  I feel this powerful urge to do what I want to do…to follow my heart in curious exploration, self expression, and everything FUN.  I also feel  this powerful urge to be loved, protected, accepted and nurtured.

I am afraid that I can’t have both.  I follow my heart desire, and it keeps upsetting you. 

  

At times, I feel like I would sacrifice all joy to have your love.  And other times, I am so angry that I don’t have the space to be me.  Would God create an existence that didn’t provide the opportunity to be me AND be loved for it?  I am new to this world…please… tell me. 

I follow my heart…I run, climb, create, explore…I play my heart’s desire.  You tell me to stop, quit, knock it off, or that I did it wrong.  I FEEL your upset…so intensely…and don’t know what to do with it. 

I wonder if there is a way to follow heart desire AND please you.  Every time you tell me that I am wrong…or bad…I learn to NOT trust my joy.  Please…help me…figure this out." 

  

The five elements philosophy suggests that if any energy is allowed the space to meet its needs and desires…the natural progression is service toward the greater good.  Our heart desires significance.

 Which means…if provided the space to really explore heart desire…the heart will find service.  Service is providing a VALUE to another energy…and this hearts service will be a passionate expression of love. 

“Providing space” does not mean permissiveness…it means a structure, with clear boundaries…

where every energy is safe to express desire.  It means allowing natural consequences…it means TEACHING how to express heart desire…how to get what they want…while still getting what you want. 

It means focusing on positive intention…positive actions…and positive consequences. 

I recommend learning "NVC" (Non-Violent Communication)…for the “greater good.”  

It goes like this… 

“You were curious (positive intention)…so you explored mom’s purse (observation)…that’s not ok (boundary)…because I have important things in there…like cards that allow us to buy groceries…like those delicious chocolate coconut treats (value of boundary)…if you are curious and want exploration, I have the perfect place for you… (Teaching the structure to win!)” 

Then… “You found a diamond!!! (energy toward the positive exploration)…that is worth 10K!”  (positive consequence)

The five elements is a study and observation of energy flow...the philosophy is over 3000 years old (the flow of energy is a bit older)...and this ancient wisdom insists...they WILL find a diamond...if provided the space...

Yours in Health and Hearts Desire (aka happiness),

DrStone

What I DID get...

I am thankful for understanding this energy…for 2 reasons.  1. I can more effectively help people!! (Yay!).  and 2. I am really thankful that I am beginning to understand people who aren’t me! 

There have been enough people ‘like me’ to help…and make a living with my unique value…BUT…seeing the perspective of those NOT like me really opens the doors to helping! 

‘Like me’ looks like this:  Sensitive to the point of allergies, anxiety, depression…self critical to the point of autoimmune conditions (I’m on my 2^nd!) and overwhelm.  And reactive to the point of exhaustion, defensiveness, and PAIN…

‘Like me’ is created by asking the question, “what is wrong with me…” on a multi-daily basis.  Go ahead…ask away…you get the above!!

‘Not like me’ includes this pattern… “I don’t GET it!”  I always put my attention on what I did get.  A small thanks.  And now I see it…here’s how I saw…

I had this experience of some (most) people walking out of my experience saying to Laura…’what the hell just happened?  I don’t get it.’  At first, I was annoyed and frustrated…because that’s now how I think. 

I did 3 years of post-doctoral neurology…300 hours…and I got 2 things.  1. You and your brain transforms and becomes WHATEVER you practice.  2. I don’t like neurology.  And…I…was…completely satisfied with the result.  My brain is practiced at finding solutions…because I practiced feeling ALONE.  You know…do it yourself…or it ain’t getting’ done.  AKA…if you don’t GET IT…nobody is coming to help.  So I focused on what I do GET.  

And for a LOOOONG time…It included a careful analysis of… “what is wrong with me.”  The FUNNY thing is…the ANSWER…was that crappy QUESTION!  Haha…uuuh…that’s the pain of my life you are laughing at.  

So I was having this experience…of people not getting me…and one of my most brilliant patients showed up for me!  She came to a group we offered, and seemed grumpy.  The rest of us were laughing…and she was frowning!  

She showed up FOR ME…for THIS…it turned out that she didn’t understand something (even brilliant people start from ZERO)…and decided (for my and your benefit) to be mad about not getting that point…for the ENTIRE 2 hours!  

Bless her…that is a big sacrifice to make…to help me get this point.  And a BIG point it is…

If you have FAITH…TRUST…in God…Nature…Love…Karma…ANYTHING…!!!  You PRACTICE that faith by TRUSTING that every moment you get exactly what you NEED.  

Of ALL the details of neurology and nerve pathways…I GOT one thing…  TWO if you consider ‘not being on the right path’ a learning experience.  (You will be served to consider that!!)

So now…I tell my patients…you aren’t SUPPOSED to ‘get’ everything…you are supposed to get ONE THING.  And it is good for your heart and soul…to TRUST…that it is the RIGHT thing.  

Go ahead…you will know…cuz it will ‘hit home’ or ‘make sense’ or somehow ‘ring true.’  

PLEASE…don’t regret or mourn what you didn’t get…LOVE and cherish what you DID GET!!!!!

Disappointment

The five elements philosophy suggests that there are people who attract disappointment.  It suggests the reason, cause or initiating factor to be an experience of, “fear with a lack of acknowledgement or reassurance.”  These people have a “Water” imbalance.  

Water, in nature, is “the transformable.”  Flexible, sensible, it holds the energy of gratitude.  It holds patience, to create the Grand Canyon.  It can transform to fury…the death and destruction of a flood or tsunami.  

Water imbalanced people have problems with choices…they are either too frozen to make a choice, or too flexible and invite gullibility and “bad” choices.  Leaving them disappointed.  It is disappointing to see the results of no action…being frozen.  And disappointing to see people always letting them down (bad choices).

But water, void of fury or freeze, chooses instantly and never chooses poorly.  How is that possible??  It follows one simple rule… ‘The path of least resistance.’  But always towards its’ goal.  

A thinking human doesn’t have it so easy.  We can’t SEE the path of least resistance toward our goal.  It’s possible to see so clearly…and with practice, it can happen.  

But what SHOULD humans do when lost or confused?  Right…ask for direction.  Male humans too!! 

 

The energy of asking is the nourishment for water imbalance…for disappointment.  

If you are not sure if your partner would be more pleased with eggs or pancakes…you ask.  Yet a water person will make eggs and be disappointed with the response. 

If you are not sure of a person’s value to you, you ASK if they can provide eggs or pancakes or oatmeal, and choose your favored from the set of their possibilities (or decide to make your own!).  A water person would want oatmeal, and be disappointed with the eggs offered.

If you are not sure of a person’s willingness, you ASK if they are willing to meet your need.  Yet a water person… HOPES…that the person in front of them…will meet their need…without sharing what it IS! 

If you relate to water folks…try asking more.  Yeah, it sounds stupid and simple…but that is life…stupid and simple.  Ask of…would you be willing to…(whatever you want / need).  Ask permission…may I do this for you?  Ask in-to…how does that feel?  

Use your flexible nature to be flexible to the response…and ASK for more / different…do NOT use your flexibility…to put up with the disappointment.