I would love to hear a great story about your TRIGGERS! What the heck does that mean?? Well, triggers are things we see, hear, or feel, that send us into an emotional state. Triggers can be wonderful…such as the music you had your first “make out session” to. They can be intense…such as those that make you crazy…say nasty things to those you love…sarcasm, withdrawal of love, punishment. We all have different ways of attacking once triggered intensely.
Those are the stories I WANT. Not for entertainment, but for research. And perhaps an educational book or at least a blog post. If you have been listening to my message, you know that I help people mainly through treating stress and inflammation. And what is more stressful and inflammatory than a good trigger?!
You might not know what exactly your trigger is…but if you tell me your story of your most recent upset, I will help you see how it happened. That alone could help you DE-STRESS and lead a happier healthier life. I know it is working for me.
I had a great experience for research just today. I can thank Sonya for being the source of the trigger, but I know it has little to do with her, and more to do with my meanings and associations.
So, I’ll start, so you have a template to work from. And please, send me your story…in the name of happiness and health…yours and everyone I reach…take a few minutes and tell me your story.
Sonya and I were driving around looking at homes. We have four children, so we visit a couple houses, take a break at the pool, see a couple more… Well, today, the older girls, Savannah (8), and Sacred (6) were extra irritable right from the start. Before we left there was a huge blow up over who would tell us the story of the pictures they drew in a sketch book. And it was on and on like that once we got into the car.
At one point, Sacred began screaming “Stop, stop.” I turned around and said, in a loud voice, “Sacred, nobody knows what you want by saying stop…what do you want to stop?” At this moment, I heard a chuckle from Sonya, sitting next to me in the driver’s seat. I was triggered.
I looked over and asked her what was so funny? She knew it was on, so tried to avoid sharing her thoughts. I kept at her…what’s so funny? Finally, she said that I was yelling at her to help her learn how to talk more effectively. “I wasn’t yelling,” I said, “I was using a strong voice to get their attention.” “Why can’t you back me up…why do you always have to undermine my way of doing this.”
At this point, the action in the back heated up. The screaming intensified. I said, “It’s all yours then.” Sonya replied, “Oh, so is this about you or about them.” I was silent. The next moment, she looked in the mirror and saw Sacred hit the back window with a metal triangle (the musical instrument), so Sonya yelled, “Absolutely not…you may not hit the window!!” I said, sarcastically, “So, you think yelling is the best way?” She called me something worse than a jerk.
I was charged for the rest of the day, until finally I cooled off and grabbed Sonya’s hand and thanked her for such wonderful research. We had been talking about triggers just the night before, and had a more mild triggering event during the previous days hunt for a home. (Hey, you try house hunting with four children!!)
I believe these events can either help us grow and be more of who we want to be, or build up defense mechanisms that ultimately lead to more stress. I’m all for number one, and I promise you that you will benefit from telling your story. Every story submitted will be addressed! All stories will be anonymous, and when you reply with your story…they will only be read by me. I will then share my ongoing research in upcoming articles. So give me a juicy one!!
Yours in Health,
Dr. Todd Stone
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