"I Am Stuck!"

Do you feel stuck?  It is not uncommon for me to hear, “I have tried everything…medical and natural…and nothing works!”  Or, “Everything I try makes me feel worse!”  

Those are the words of people who have “Blocked Regulation” and/or “Switched Regulation.”

Those were the words of Rosalinda, Melissa, Raven, and Shannon, and now all share their happiness and success on our YouTube channel (DrStone16).  One of the keys to breaking the stuck pattern was treating them for Blocked and/or Switched Regulation.  I know those terms are foreign to medicine and most people, so let me explain…

Regulation:  This is my favored term for the little something within us that attends to our needs.  It keeps the heart beating, lungs breathing, and adapts to every change in our environment, both internally and externally.  The heart and lungs are regulated in our brainstem, which attends to what we call “vital functions.”  And they are vital…meaning death is the result of their failure.  

The brainstem is the “deepest” part of our nervous system.  The next deepest is the limbic system, also known as our emotional brain…but really functions as our fight or flee brain.  Emotions are not bad…in fact if you have been in love, excited about a project, or love your momma, you know that emotions can be wonderful.  The painful nature of some emotions is also good…they are there, just like the brainstem and vital functions, to keep you alive.  If you get emotional…upset in some way…it is giving you a guide to exit or change the situation.  Run from the bear…escape the mugger…or more practically, in life, change our patterns (habits, rituals)

The next layer of the brain is the cortex, commonly thought of as our thinking brain, but only a tiny portion of the brain…right behind your forehead, does the thinking.  Most of the cortex is for moving and sensing.   Again, all designed for survival.  For instance, if you touch a hot stove, the pain initiates a withdrawal reflex….all carefully coordinated in the cortex of your brain.  

I contend that this amazing organization of survival NEVER MAKES A MISTAKE!  Every experience you have is a carefully coordinated effort to increase your probability of surviving another day, week, month, year…yet these four people, and many others, did not feel like their body was working for them, or even with them.  It felt like all heck was breaking loose!  And here’s why…

Blocked Regulation:  Technically speaking, this is an inability to shift from parasympathetic (rest and digest) to sympathetic (fight or flee) and back again.  Regulation is literally stuck…or blocked.  But for a good reason.  There is something challenging survival…an immune challenge…that is demanding attention…the attention of regulation.  I compare this effect to a “fire in the kitchen.”  You can’t really step away for a snooze, to take a potty break, or attend to any other needs.  

This response is still your “best chance of survival” however, even if you can’t sleep, can’t digest, can’t heal…because the challenge cannot be ignored.  Often this is caused by a toxic metal (ie. Mercury) or an undiagnosed infection.  And it is true…success, progress, and feeling well are “blocked” until this problem is addressed.  

Switched Regulation:  This was named for the way it presents…you do something good for you, and you feel bad.  Sometimes you can even do something bad for you and feel better!  It’s an observation made by many patients and doctors, and only the most investigative ever figure out how to remedy this confounding experience.  It was certainly a confounder in my practice for many years…until I dug deep and discovered this very important barrier to healing.  

Often, this is caused by multiple immune challenges…my best analogy is a parent with 4 seriously upset kids in front of her.  As she listens and responds to one, two others get LOUDER.  And that is how it is with symptoms…you attend to one, and others get louder.  It is not even that the attention was wrong…it was just incomplete.  The treatment that was started was appropriate to one problem, and most likely needs to continue with additional support.  

Ultimately, this whole experience is about locating and attending to the top priority (-ies).  I often say that the reason Melissa, Shannon, Rosalinda, and Raven progressed…was that we located the top priority.  Blocked regulation and Neurologic Switching confuse the process of finding the top priority, and that is why it is a process of discovery.  

The stressors that cause blocked or switched regulation are not obvious with typical diagnostics.  I have experienced this first hand, with my “get all the cards on the table” approach of the past.  In this approach, I would order a multitude of lab tests, approaching $2,000 in diagnostics, hoping to unveil any and every stressor and imbalance that stood between my patient and good health.  Yet even with all that information, I would still run into blocks.  Or worse, as I attended to all the needs we uncovered, the patient would feel worse.  

Even with our extensive process of diagnosis, using neurological, energetic, and lab diagnostics, along with simply listening to the messages (we are very thorough in our diagnosis) it still takes a few to several visits to completely nail all priorities, including the TOP priority.  

And, of course, there are a few people that I never identified all the top priorities, and progress was not achieved.  Those are the ones that keep me searching and improving.  

 There are also many more who have shocking results using these diagnostic tools.  Results that surprise me and the patient.  They also keep my searching and improving, attempting to reproduce those results on a more consistent basis.  

For most, however, it is a step by step process of listening, noticing, and responding, requiring patience and time.  The most obvious regulation problems can be quickly observed with a simple muscle response testing using acupressure points.  The most stealth regulation problems sometimes are not evident until we retest the lab markers, identifying objectively (noticing), that one particular organ or system is blocked (no change) or switched (gets worse).  (Although I am getting better at spotting the “stealth” regulation problems, sooner rather than later!)

If you are personally “stuck,” this assessment can be the one thing that breaks you free to start enjoying the experience of your health moving again in a positive direction.  And…if you keep moving in a positive direction, maybe you can one day qualify for the BEST EVER group I talk about HERE!

It Must Be Stress!

“Great…I can’t leave my job, my family, or make more money.”  (I guess you could do all three, but often it is not practical).  “My doctor says eat right, get some exercise, take some time off, get plenty of rest, and see a shrink.  

The reality is that all I can think about is pizza, chocolate and ice cream…I can’t sleep even though I’m exhausted.  I have no vacation time left, the LAST thing that sounds good is exercise, and I can’t imagine sitting with a stranger and discussing my problems.”  (although more people seem to be trying counseling/therapy…I actually quite like it)

And, well, there’s always the antidepressant medication.  (A plant called St. Johns Wort has actually out performed several antidepressants in side by side tests with mild to moderate depression)

I say that is a pretty un-resourceful list of ways to reduce stress.   

I say that this crappy list is why people feel helpless to stress.

Try my top tips for reducing stress:

Panhandler Method:  The panhandler has one great asset…an asset that more of us could utilize.  Here it is…everyone he meets knows exactly what he wants, and he is (mostly) not offended by “no.”  He gets tons of no’s…but he realized that if he keeps asking, well, sooner or later he will get what he wants. 

 

Perhaps you could have some fun with this.  Start asking everybody for whatever it is you want…just the first thing that comes to your mind.  Ask your spouse for a foot rub, scalp massage, shoulder rub, free night, a new shirt, a party, a movie…anything you want, important or not.  Expect that you will get many no’s. 

Ask a coworker to cover a job for you, to get your lunch, to speak more quietly, to help you answer a question, or solve a problem.  Ask your child to clean their room, do the dishes, play a game, watch a movie with you, paint your nails…whatever comes to mind.  And even with kids…don’t boss…ASK… “Would you be willing to…?”  Get your hand out, ask for what you want…clearly and distinctly.  Somebody will give you what you want, and that will reduce your stress dramatically.  

Stealing Method:  Your problems were not invented by you.  I bet most people you know have similar problems.  I bet many people have bigger problems.  I bet somebody has solved the exact problem you are experiencing.  

Steal that solution.  I often say that overcoming problems requires breaking a pattern.  I also say that reading is a wonderful pattern breaker (as long as you are reading about the person who solved the problem, not someone else describing her problem…that would just deepen the pattern).  Find a book that covers a solution to your problem (no, it’s not really stealing of course the book is there to share the ideas).  And read it, over and over, until it sinks in.  You just created a new pattern!  

Treat Me Right Method:  If you would accept the task, the responsibility, that YOU must teach every person you interact with how to treat you…YOU MIGHT HAVE NO STRESS LEFT!  Your job is to teach people how to treat you.  

Teaching is a kind, educational process.  Teaching corrects errors, but if done compassionately (and effectively), it does not include punishment (which is not effective).  You could get compliance with punishment, but the compliance is not a heartfelt attempt to make your life better.  The compliance is just avoiding the pain of your mouth or actions, and the reality is that you are less loved.  

Teaching people how to treat you is a new attitude.  It is a connecting attitude.  It is simply stating your preferences.  Sometimes it can be firm, “That is NOT OK!”  And followed with education… “If you are angry with me, you can… (people will get angry with you, how would you like them to handle that…teach them).  When people are mad at me, I would like them to describe what they experienced and how it made them feel.  That’s my preference.  

If they are so mad they could scream, I would like them to make some space and cool off.  If they lose control, I would prefer an apology.  As Savannah has told me waaay tooooo many times, after my apologizing, “It’s ok, Dad, we all lose our temper.”  Bless her wisdom!  Now get to teaching.  

Validation Method:  Validation simply means “you’re ok and normal.”  I have a special place in my heart for validation, as I have felt soooo not ok for so much of my life.  I wouldn’t even poop at school because it seemed “not right” to me, somehow embarrassing or humiliating.  Pooping!  Funny…several years ago we found a book at the library called, “Everybody Poops.”  

Validation makes everything and everyone RIGHT! YAY!!!  Validation assumes positive intention…and I can guarantee you that nobody is trying to alienate everyone around them (negative intention).  They ARE doing the best they can with their current resources.  And once you validate, you can actually teach them more resources.  

This is my favorite example, a true story…a patient of mine had a grandson that was acting up, causing trouble.  During one visit she shared that he stole a car.  She started ranting that he needed punishment, control, rules, regulations, etc.  Probably correct, but I suggested that he CAN’T hear the message, the new resource, when he feels” not ok.”  

When someone feels not ok (IN-validated), he will most likely do exactly the opposite of what you ask or suggest (or demand).  It’s a hardwired survival response.  I suggested that she validate.  She said, “WHAT?  That is not ok!”  “Really, you’ve never stole something?”  (You are a rare exception if you can say yes…I remember our 5 year old pulling a cookie out of her pocket after leaving a friend’s house)  

What if you said, “I completely understand why you did that…you wanted to get somewhere, thought it would be fun, exciting, and really wanted that car. When I was little, I remember stealing…”  Then, when they feel “ok,” you can teach…but don’t teach them why that was wrong, they are not idiots.  

“I am concerned about how worried the owner might have been or how losing that car might have hurt him.  If you want a car or to get somewhere, here is what you do…if you want excitement or danger, here is what you do…”  

The trick here is to notice the positive intent by stepping into their shoes…it takes some practice to see a positive intent when what you are seeing is clearly aggravating you!  It is repetition that creates a new pattern, so spend some time noticing the positive intent in everything that has aggravated you…back to mom and dad.  When you get back to now, you may have a new pattern.    

No Mas Method:  Can you say no?  Try it.  “NO.”  It’s pretty easy…until you have to say it TO somebody!    

Here’s the irony:  if everyone were practicing the Panhandler Method, we all would ALSO be practicing the No Mas Method.  If you knew what everyone wanted (clearly and distinctly) you would be able to easily see how you could be the most helpful or giving…and say no to all the rest.  You would feel awesome in your giving (not resentful), and be nourished with appreciation for your giving.  

Take a look at your “to do list” and rate each to do on a scale of one to four…one being this feels like torture, and four meaning this feels like a gift.  Here’s a hint…when you provide your gift, you feel excited and energized…when you are providing (resentful) obligation, you feel exhausted and unappreciated.  

   

Now, notice the number of 3 and 4’s you have compared to the 1 and 2’s.  If it is less than 80%, your to do list is a great source of stress.  Start to slowly get rid of the 1 and 2’s…nobody is benefiting from those.  

Here’s the story I often tell…If you asked me to wash your car…and I said yes…and washed your car…but then later you heard me telling someone, “what nerve you have to ask me…who does she think she is…like I have nothing better to do than wash a car…I had to miss my sons soccer game!”  You would wish I hadn’t helped you!  And that is true of every situation, every person…

No is the kindest word you can say if you are asked to do something that doesn’t make you feel good.  The intention will be off, the result will be off…it will be disconnecting rather than connecting.  Take your list of 1 and 2’s and start doing the best thing for everyone…say NO!  

Natures Method:  In nature, if an animal was stressed due to sickness or injury, it would most likely eat some plant (and they most likely know better than we do which to eat) and go lie down. 

One thing we do know about plants are the effects of a group of plants called “Adaptogens.”  These adaptogens have the quality of surviving harsh conditions, and they seem to pass that resilience on to us.  Many studies on adaptogens have shown that they increase resilience to stress, physically and mentally. 

They seem to do this by lowering our resting threshold for the stress response…you know the feeling…when confronting a person about something…the heart racing, stumbling on your words, tightness all over your body.  That’s the stress response, and your resting threshold determines the amount of stress you can take before you blow your stack or collapse.  

Think about a glass of water.  If the glass is full to the rim, one drop will cause it to overflow.  If the glass is empty, you can pour it on…and on…  Same goes for our brains…if you stub your toe getting out of bed, spill the milk on your shoes, and snag your sweater on a nail, all before 8 AM…as you are leaving the house, you might be near your threshold for stress.  Then when someone cuts you off in traffic, you “blow your top” and give the universal hand gesture for “I didn’t like that.”  

Our threshold “glass” is always holding some water.  We need a stress response for holding ourselves upright in gravity.  If your posture is symmetrical because you are a patient of Dr. Stone, that stress is minimal.  If you have a weak gluteus medius, which allows the hip to drop and turn a touch forward, that stress is greater.  

The amount of water in your threshold glass depends on your total experience of life and health.  And some people are getting out of bed with a full glass of water.  (This doesn’t feel good!)

But, that is what adaptogens do for you…they lower the level of the water in the glass.  Possibly, they build you a bigger glass, since nothing is really changing in your life…but it is clearly observable that they increase your threshold for stress, both physically and mentally.  

Some of the plants considered adaptogens are Ginseng, Ashwagandha, Astragalus, Holy basil, Reishi (actually a mushroom), Shisandra, and Rhodiola.  One or more are always on my list, both because I find life challenging, and because I think I have something important to share, and the more energy I have for sharing, the better!  

You won’t necessarily notice something the moment you take it…it takes time to shift function and physiology naturally.  But be consistent for a week, then two, three…you will start to notice the difference.  And for the minority that don’t notice a difference in 4 weeks… that experience is actually diagnostic…it means that there is most likely an immune challenge that is keeping your body in stress overwhelm.   And that’s a whole other way to reduce stress naturally…treat inflammation.  

There are so many more ways…eating protein in regular intervals, extra green veggies every day, our Greens First drink, tapping acupressure points…what you want to achieve is being resourceful to attend to stress and inflammation, and practice listening to see if it is working.  

Hopefully, this has increased your resource list in at least one way.

Best,

Dr. Stone   

PS.  The most broad spectrum adaptogens we have is Adaptocrine.  There are 6 different adaptogens plants in one supplement…that’s the place to start if you want to “try” adding some adaptogens to your life.  Laura is happy to ship if you give her a call.

"Best Ever"

In medicine, the goal of treatment is to slow the progression of the disease process that has overtaken your body.  Expectations are fairly low.  “There is no cure for your disease, so this is the best we can manage it.”  Cancer treatment is victorious if you extend the normal life expectancy…even by a few months.  

What if we chose a different goal…something exciting like “best ever. “ 

This concept came to me after a discussion with a patient who is about to turn 66.  She shared with me that she feels the BEST EVER.  Her energy, happiness, resilience to stress…her overall health and function are BEST EVER…compared to her experience as a kid, and anytime in her adult life.  She feels BEST EVER. 

She first visited me in January of 2009, experiencing what she might call her worst ever.  She had an autoimmune thyroid condition called Hashimoto’s, plus a diagnosis of Fibromyalgia.  She was sick, tired, and in severe pain.  And guess what…naming her suffering didn’t relieve the suffering even 1%.  

She had to leave her career because she couldn’t handle the stress of working…she didn’t have the energy or strength to do it…she hurt too much to do it…she was certain she would be dead if she attempted to continue.  

At the point I met her, she had little hope, little money, no direction (for improving her health) and no income.  Her next best option was dying…at least the pain would end, and she wouldn’t have to worry about becoming homeless.  But she wasn’t quite ready for life to end…ending her career was a decision to extend her life, no matter how much pain there was.  

Yup, WORST EVER.  

And now, BEST EVER.  

It got me thinking…thinking about the concept of wellness, and my long time patients (she has been checked at least monthly for 3 years).  She is the most consistent fixture in my practice, besides the longest current patient….me.  

I started to reflect on my suffering, which was mild compared to hers, but was a pretty good list…anxiety, shoulder pain, allergies…never complained about my energy, but I had to take naps all through my late teens and 20s.  Now, my pain levels are best ever…also best ever: energy, resilience, anxiety levels, allergies, flexibility, and I’d say happiness also.  

Then my partner, Sonya (who is edging in on 40, which I’ve already exceeded)…she had chronic migraines, allergies, ear infections (even into college), terrible cramping with her cycle…all best ever.  Moods…best ever.  Tail bone pain, TMJ pain, shoulder pain…best ever.  Scoliosis…best ever (seriously, you can barely see any sign of it anymore).  

Another person that comes in regularly, for the past 5 years…I had to ask about his best ever’s.  he said his ankle, knee and hip pain is best ever.  He said he used to regularly use 800MG ibuprofen for pain, would almost always hurt after playing basketball which he played in high school and college.  And…managing stress and emotions…best ever (which he credits in part to NeuroEmotional Therapy, plus natural management of stress physiology).  

The point here is that most of my patients come in for problem solving, and then when the problem is solved, wait for the next problem to appear.  Some remember the help we provided, and others fall back into the “normal” routine of visiting the “real” doctor…getting named and categorized…and managing those names with symptom suppressing drugs.  

It seems that handling health problems with natural means, and then building on that with wellness visits that identifies your weakest link, and what will strengthen that weakest link…that leads to BEST EVER.  And I propose that as the new goal for your health care investment.  

One more question for the best evers…this must be expensive to care for yourself this way…is your health care expenditures more now…or less?  

A:  A resounding and significant…LESS!  

I have to clarify this…so, you are healthier, happier, virtually NO pain or suffering (symptoms), and you have more $ in your pockets?  

A: YES!  

Hmmmm….