Learning and School

I tend to ask the question, “Is that true?,” an awful lot.  It’s the energy of the “Revolutionary” archetype.  And of course, I’d have to have a strong Revolutionary energy to practice alternative medicine.  So, including and beyond health, I wonder if there is a better way than the accepted mainstream version. 

 

This questioning process is the source of all innovation.  We’d still be sitting in the dark and sending telegraphs if someone hadn’t wondered if there might be a better way.  

As our children came of school age, we asked the question again.  Is public school the best way for kids to learn?  And even more, is learning the goal…or is there more meaning behind learning?  And what is important to learn?  To what ends…what are we learning for…what is the end goal?

I want to point out the purpose of this questioning process.  It is NOT to declare how stupid everyone else is.  It is not a criticism of current standards.  It is a wonder and thoughtfulness about potential improvement in efficiency and effectiveness.  And the reason for the point is that sometimes people who are practicing current standards might hear it as a criticism.  I want to be clear…that is NOT the intention!  

For example, the i phone 5 is not a criticism of the i phone 4…it is a stretching toward increased efficiency and effectiveness.  

Back to kids learning.  My simple wonder, is…if a child focuses on her heart desire (what she likes and is interested in)…will she discover her most beloved gift to humankind and provide that service or product in exchange for value?  (Earn a living) 

Bill Gates snuck away to a college (don’t recall the details) that had one of the first computers.  Every spare moment was devoted to that intense interest and desire.  Edison had something like two weeks of formal education, but he found the information he needed to be one of the greatest inventors of all time.  All of his time was focused on what he loved and was interested in.  

When I was 10, I discovered an interest in health and fitness.  I had stacks of muscle and fitness magazines by the time I was a teenager.  (Which turned out not to be the best source of information, but it was a start!)

 

What would have happened if I had been able to commit 8 hours a day toward this study…even encouraged to discover more depth of knowledge in this interest?  What if my teacher taught me how to research and expand my knowledge in this field…to follow my heart and interest to its fullest?  

Obviously, I don’t know…nor does anyone else.  But I wonder!  

Malcolm Gladwell wrote a book called “The Outliers” several years ago.  An outlier is a person who achieves greatness in their profession.  People who put a lasting mark on their fields of expertise.  He shared the story of Bill Gates, plus Wayne Gretsky and the Beatles.  He shared stories of entire cultures who had risen to greatness.  And the common factor was time commitment.  

For example, the Beatles played in Germany in a club that stayed open until 5AM.  Other bands went home at 2AM.  That extra 3 hours per night in practicing their passion meant an additional 48 hours per month, and nearly 600 hours per year!  Then he described how Gretsky got more practice time.  Then the entire Canadian all star team…and how entire cultures of people found ways to get more practice time leading to greatness.

One example was  a certain group of immigrants to New York City.  He described how they, as a culture, fought to get their kids into advanced public school math programs, driving their kids in to classes before the sun was up or the bus was running, and staying after school until dark…and from that practice, led to a cultural innovation of a technology field.  

Practice.  And passion.  

The Beatles, Bill Gates, and the hockey greats were practicing their art form.  The passion of the NYC immigrants was to rise above the oppression of their homeland.  

Gladwell counted the hours, and discovered that there was some magic about the 10 thousand hour mark.  If you practice ANYTHING for 10 thousand hours, you will be among the outstanding greats in your field, and people will pay you to experience your talent.  (No job required!)

He also noted that you must LOVE your art form or talent, because 10 thousand hours is a long time to practice, before you make a living from it.  Most people opt for the security of a job and a paycheck rather than struggle in practice for so many years!  

When I was 25, I had graduated with a doctoral degree, and in two years had three failed attempts at making a living in my trade.  The fourth attempt was so painful (mobile chiropractor), that I filled out an application for a j-o-b.  Entry level position, but a secure paycheck every week.  The interviewer was in shock…he said he couldn’t take me on…it was an expensive process finding and hiring good help, and certainly I would want to return to my field of expertise.  

Great…my education path had created un-employability!  I knew a bunch of information…anatomy, chemistry…but the reality is that I had around 200 hours in practice.  I was a beginner…a novice…a hack.  If I were a piano player, people would pay me to stop playing.  

But I had to practice…there was no other choice.  So I did…I found some other chiropractors willing to put a novice into practice, and my exchange was moving 1,300 miles away from “home.”  I felt like I had no choice.

It’s funny…in medicine/health care, we call our job a “practice.”  And practice I did.  I discovered that Chiropractic was not my passion.  (whoops…that left a 100K debt on my financial statement!)  I kept practicing my interests, and found the information I needed, well outside the environment of school.

Somewhere around the early 2010’s, I hit 10 thousand hours of practice using applied kinesiology and integrated natural medicine.  I have achieved results that look something like greatness…amazing stories of healing…leading people from extreme discomfort to comfort and happiness.  

I was still a little “off” of my true-heart-passion, however.  My evidence...I struggled financially, and even despite some “greatness” experiences, felt unsure of myself.  I kept practicing my passion on myself…which turned out to be ‘creating happiness’…locating resources outside my profession, and practicing in my own family, until…I started to really feel it (happiness).  Not "I can live with this" but Deep connection, acceptance, authenticity, trust, significance, contribution…  

My children proved to be primary educators in my passion…becoming happy.  

Just last year, I was urged by a patient to teach her how to be happy…specifically through teaching a seminar about that topic and the resources I had accumulated to increase happiness.  But…no…I was a novice…a hack.  Only a few hundred hours practiced.  

She kept asking…here and there…and finally I was brave enough to say yes.  I held my first happiness group with 15 people…and I sucked so much that 10 quit.  But the 5 that stuck with it…over 12 weeks…shared amazing stories of life altering happiness!  

I gained the confidence to bring it more into my practice…and my practice time is adding up…10 thousand hours is still a few years away, but I am completely happy in my practice (both versions of the word).  

As this happened, the struggle seemed to dissipate…as I connected more deeply to my passion, my bills seemed easier to pay!  

Back to kids learning.  I was voted class devil…I spent a few different nights in jail…I was very angry inside…very anxious inside…

What if that is the resistance to NOT following heart desire?  What if that stress and anxiety were my signals to keep focusing on heart desire…and when I finally do (did), all of life falls into place?  What if my education slowed my connection to heart and true passion?  (Although I believe that everything happened just as it needed to get me here)

I don’t know…and neither do you.  

I do know that Savannah was not happy.  She got sick more often, headaches, and seemed depressed at times.  And, just as a general rule, I try not to do things that increase sickness, pain, and depression.  Savannah is a unique individual, and each unique individual has to discover their own heart passion.  We felt that school was not increasing that.  

Can it be ok that she does it differently…more like Bill Gates and the Beatles?  I personally ask Savannah for advice, and even for money on one occasion.  She is 12, and seems to have things figured out better than I do at 44.  

Until she goes to school…there, she learns she is “behind,” needs “special consideration,” and is so “different” that one boy was punished for pointing out her difference.

At home, she is rich…makes money easily…through her consideration and talent.  She is valued as a special gift to her parents and everyone she encounters.  She is energetically attractive to all people, and all people want more of her once they experience her.

I have found through education (in resources such as the book I mentioned), and through my experience and practice…that moving toward and into that experience (I am of value, important, and desired) is what brings fulfillment and wealth.  My learned (experienced) rule is…NOTICE what increases stress and strain…and do less of that…NOTICE what increases ease and comfort…and do more of that.  

And it will be unique to every individual.  The NYC immigrants increased ease and comfort by going to public school MORE…Savannah finds the same by staying home.  

I am fully convinced that this strategy is effective toward happiness. 

I also acknowledge that I have NO CLUE.  (And therefore would never criticize another path!)  I have had the experience of stress and strain while trying to fit in to a structure and do the “right thing.”  I have also had the experience of ease and comfort when following my heart, even if it is not the “right thing.”  That is very real to me.  

My goal for Savannah, and the rest of my tribe, is to follow her heart.  Do what they want to do, and trust that God and nature will provide for them.  To connect to the innate need to contribute to community through that…whether it is the beauty of art, helpfulness of doctoring, or innovation of invention.  

I don’t know how that happens, exactly…and neither do you. But I wonder...

I wouldn’t hire a person who passed a drug test!

Clearly, my hiring criteria is not “using drugs.”  In fact, I would never test a potential employee for drug use or abstaining.  I base my hiring on organization, responsibility, flexibility, compassion, and other values. 

 

The question I pose is, “Can you use drugs or alcohol and maintain these values?”  And, “Can you abstain from drugs and alcohol, and lack these values.”

“But, drugs ruined my sister’s life!”  No…not feeling “OK” or acceptable ruined your sister’s life.  Not the drugs.  She was “out of control” with her drug use because she didn’t feel acceptable/ok at her core. 

And guess what…testing her for drugs made her feel even less OK.  

Gaining control of one’s life requires validation.  “You are OK just as you are.”  If someone feels validated or “OK,” they will make choices in life from their higher values.  They will regain control.  

They may need to add resources such as how do I deal with feeling low…angry…sad.  Children lose control when they feel these emotions.  If they are never taught how to deal with them resourcefully, they continue to lose control as adults.  

Here are some methods we use (when we remember):

You started the couch on fire (name the problem)…you must have wanted my attention (guess the need, also validating…assuming positive intent but lacking resources)…you may not set the couch on fire (set the boundary)…if you want my attention, you can say, “momma, I really need you to see me or hear me.”  Try it now…you can do it… (teach a resource)

Mantras: 

“If you are not getting what you want…try a different approach.” 
“If the person in front of you is upset, ask what they want.”
“If you are upset with the person in front of you, tell them what you want.”

Remind…remind…remind…remind…and then… “would you like my help/advice?”  

Alcohol and drug use, when out of control, are evidence of lacking resources to process painful feelings and emotions.  Don’t make them wrong…it is their best resource to date.  Almost everyone has used drugs to escape, whether recreational or prescription.  (No difference in my opinion, except that most recreational drugs are natural, and therefore have fewer side effects!)  

What resources have you discovered to gain control in your life?  Tell them about your out of control, so they feel normal, ok, and acceptable.  Then share those resources.  

Hopefully, you see my comment is a stimulus (intended) for critical thinking.  “Is that true?”  “What is the root cause.”  My opinion is a lack of validation…a lack of OK-ness. 

Important Brain Health PSA

Spiders are a critical part of our ecosystem.  Terminix posted 298 Million in revenue in the 4th quarter of 2013, in part for the service of killing spiders.  The chemical insecticide used for spider control was evaluated in the Journal "Toxicological Sciences" and discovered that exposure activates brain immune defenses and inflammatory chemicals.  When we observe the brains of alzheimers patients, we notice brain immune defense activation and inflammation.  We also recognize that sugar and aluminum cause the same effects in the brain. 

This brings to mind the concept of the "tipping point."  At what level of exposure to insecticides, aluminum, and sugar do we experience the tipping point, resulting in memory loss and confusion.  You'll never know until you get there! 

My recommendation is to use brain "sharpness" as your indicator.  If you have dulled a little bit...focus, memory, attention...it's time to tip the scales BACK toward sharpness.  Skullcap and chamomile are two plants that calm and clean the brain immune system.  Avoiding further exposure as much as possible (cancel that terminex membership, get rid of aluminum cookware, decrease sugar and refined carb intake) is indicated. 

Brain "sharpness" SHOULD increase with age, as wisdom is accumulated...but offset by immune activator accumulation.  Be SMART...and take this bit of advice for BRAIN HEALTH.  Do it for your sharpness, and the environment, which includes creepy spiders. 

Resolution...failed...again

My resolution was to stay positive…respond to people, news, concepts, ideas with an uplifting message.  Failed already.  

I don’t think I am an overly negative person, but I often make fun of other ways of doing things, particularly the mainstream medicine approach to chronic conditions.  Sometimes I even get frustrated and defensive about the ideas and actions of medicine.  

For example, the overuse of antibiotics…very personal to me, since that was how I began my life…many rounds of antibiotics followed by a nasty autoimmune disease that nearly took my life.  (ITP, the platelet disorder).   Twice last year this subject came up…I gave my little rant (in a sense, saying, “that’s stupid”)…and both times I think I offended the person I was talking to.  Well, one for sure, because she let me know!  

So, I resolved to stay positive…whenever something comes up that incites making fun or defensiveness, my plan is to share something positive in the other direction.  For example,if I saw a little toddler with food allergies and a history of antibiotic use, instead of ranting about how damaging antibiotics are, I’ll post something on the success of our immune protocols.  

Simple, right…and really, far more productive if my goal is teaching, and even influencing others to use natural medicine.  But I failed, and I won’t get into my defensiveness, but I will share my positive message. 

It is the message of ignorance.   I write about ignorance frequently, because I think it is truly “enlightened wisdom.”  And if it ain’t, it’s at least a less stressful way of living.  

I want to invite you to join me in working toward the complete acceptance and appreciation of our own ignorance.  

Ignorance is defined as the lack of knowledge or information.  Knowledge is defined as awareness of fact or truth.  But what the heck is a fact…and even more muddled is the concept of truth.  They say mathematics is exact and true, but quantum physicists are showing that depending on perspective, even math rules change.    

Here is an idea…a concept that could challenge your facts and truth…and the first lesson of ignorance.  If we “know” how things are, the moment anyone says something that conflicts with our “truth,” we tune out and start creating our rebuttle.  But if you accept ignorance, you can hear ANY concept and “try it on for size”…see if it fits comfortably…see if it enhances your life, or decreases your stress.  Maybe it doesn’t, and you toss it aside and maintain your truth, but at least you heard it.  (Knowing prevents learning) 

The idea or concept: I believe that there is no such thing as fact…or even truth.  Everything is based on perspective.  Oh, we could go back and forth a million times, so let’s offer up a couple truths that are merely perspective.  

‘The sun comes up every morning.’  Check your facts with someone living in Alaska.  

‘Giving to others is good.’  Check your facts with someone who has been robbed at gunpoint.  

Perspective. 

 

If you have a desire for wisdom, I believe the first step is ignorance.  Letting go of truth or fact…and allowing the absorption of perspective.  When you see from the perspective of all people, you see from the perspective of God.  (And I’m ok calling that universal intelligence the Zero Point Field, or Prana, or Chi or Qi, depending on your perspective)

As soon as you buy into fact, you begin deleting people and perspectives.  And you delete awareness and wisdom.  For example, some people who believe in Christianity, also believe that everyone else is wrong, and would not gather wisdom from a Buddhist teaching.  And the same thing happens with men and women, democrats and republicans…there’s a good example of not hearing another perspective…politics!  

Imagine a political world where both republicans and democrats stopped defending their point and listened, absorbed, and tried on the others opinion.  And, since they are working for the same thing, our country, they compromised, and sought a best solution that included both perspectives.  Wow!  Only through letting go of truth.  

Now, the reason this is a resolution is that I am a long way from this unifying, serene existence.  I have lived in a culture that rewards being right, and penalizes being wrong, and the difference between the two is standardized from a culture that is hardly “getting it right.”  I’ve practiced being right and veiling my ignorance all my life.    

So…I am not very good at being ignorant.  As I mentioned, I have this tendency to make fun of or make wrong any ideas outside mine.  I have resolved to practice step one toward universal wisdom…stop defending my perspective.  I will work on seeing the other perspective, and with practice, I may develop that awareness.  What I believe I can do, right away, is turn any defensiveness or rightness into something positive, and stop tearing others down.    

Will you join me?  We can keep expectations low…so we can’t fail.  None of us are GOOD at ignorance.  We’ll still react with what we have practiced for so long…but when we feel that “bad” feeling, we can notice it…take a breath…and (try to) stop defending our truth, redefined as our perspective?  We do NOT have to give up our perspective to see someone else’s.  We just have to stop defending ours, which could allow us to actually see or hear theirs.  

And what is there to defend.  Most truths have been discovered inaccurate or incomplete.  And the rest likely will be found inaccurate in the next generation…or the next.  So what are we defending!?  As awareness expands…as Columbus failed to fall off the edge…truth changes.  

I still defend…and I did so very recently.  But I am acknowledging the defensiveness and turning it into a positive through sharing my perspective. 

I know I can stay positive…I do it regularly.  I know I can notice the defensiveness…I know the feel, I know the language, and I can pay attention.  I know I can choose to respond differently.  Maybe not always in time…but I will notice and make another choice.  And practice…and practice. 

And that is one “truth” that has stood the test of time…across all generations and lifetimes, all human experience has shown that whatever you practice, you get better at…and what a great thing to practice.  Stop defending, and offer a positive, perhaps uplifting message.   

I hope you will take this seriously and join me in taking a step toward accepting ignorance.  It’s impossible to deny…we are, in fact, quite ignorant on many subjects.  Join me in Trying…Practicing!  

Imagine the result….

“You, Dr. Stone, are a pompous idiot.”  

“Really…that is a VERY interesting perspective…what led you to believe that?”  

Wouldn’t that be a LESS STRESSFUL way to move through life?  Could you imagine how that person would respond if you didn’t reject their perspective?  Seems worth practicing…