Amazing power of NET (NeuroEmotional Therapy)

Ever have one of those days where you are sure your child has lost her mind?  Our youngest, Amory (3), had just such a day recently.  

At breakfast she was screaming at her twin brother because he was too close to her.  And…”you can’t use my glass, don’t touch my plate…don’t say that…He called me stupid.”  As we drove out to camping she was screaming that she couldn’t wait any longer.  When we were walking down the trail, she sat down and said she couldn’t walk with shoes on, and of course once we took them off the rocks were “too pokey” to walk without shoes on.  

So there we sat…life being too impossible to take another step.  What could we do?  Should I demand that she walk?  Should I just fix it and carry her?  

The shoes were not the REAL problem.  Nor was her brother, the plate, glass, words, car, trail, etc., etc.  She had a real upset going on inside her and was acting this way instead of dealing with the problem.  And she’s 3…I don’t expect her to share her feelings and talk about her problems.  She probably didn’t even know why she was so ticked off that day.  

Something had triggered her upset.  A trigger is a sensory event…something you see, hear, or feel that ignites an emotional pattern.  

I use muscle testing to tap into the nervous system, which includes the energy systems described in eastern medicine.  As I “asked” her unconscious nervous system through her muscles, I discovered that she had been let down by her mother (sorry moms, most kid upsets are your fault).  Amory expected Mom to punish, correct, or somehow protect her from her brother taking her things.  Once I got the summary of what was REALLY bothering her, I started to ask some questions.  And one miracle I’ve discovered is if you guess the right upset, you get their attention.   

I also tapped an acupressure point that had a connection to her emotion…which in this case was muddled or confused.  The anger she displayed was her strategy to stop feeling this “bad” feeling.  

It works well to be playful with kids, so I asked if she thought Mom should punch her brother.  She loved that one, and excitedly said “Yes!”  I then explained that Mom wants her to be strong and know how to handle it when people treat her unfairly.  That mom loves her and knows she is not always around to protect her.   It might sound like a bit much for a 3 year old to absorb, but I figure that the intention of the words is understood, even if the words are not. 

After the testing, tapping and talking…the trail no longer seemed impossible.  We walked up to where the others were and told mom about the upset.  Mom reassured her as well.  

About five minutes later, another family arrived.  They greeted us and asked Amory for a hug.  I watched her walk over and give big hugs (that would NOT have happened an hour earlier), and I felt incredible gratitude for this wonderful gift of kinesiology…eastern medicine philosophy…and meeting my (and your) kids’ NEEDS.  

Compare that experience to another possible experience: forcing her to walk or fixing the trail problem by carrying her.  Or any other solution you might have come up with.  

I have seen this transformation so many times…in my own children and also in the many others I have seen in my clinic.  It creates so much ease in life with families, I almost feel negligent for not sharing this amazing gift more! 

Focusing on the NEGATIVE!

Interesting observation with a patient…

We use a device in our office much like the hospital, called a tuffsat pulse oximeter.  It reads two measures of oxygen…availability and delivery.  Oxygen concentration…as I say…are the boxes on the truck…which can be affected by asthma, anemia, COPD, etc.  Oxygen perfusion…as I say…are the trucks on the street…which is affected by adrenaline, noradrenaline, cAMP…these are all stress factors.  

This patient arrives with an oxygen perfusion at 20% of the lowest level of normal.  Actual numbers…1-3 is normal…she measured at 0.18.  I even put it on my finger to see if it was working properly…yup, shot right up to 2 something.  

My first goal with everyone is to reduce physiological stressors…the stuff going on inside the body…inflammation, hormones, etc.  Often, when patients come in low, after we treat them, the numbers are fine.  In her case, it still measured at 0.18.  

Now, I could question my treatment…and I do.  I double checked some reflexes…retested the weak muscles…all were strong.  Next, I mentioned that these numbers were affected by stress factors, and asked if there was anything going on in her life.  She paused, thought, and replied a fairly certain no.  

I went on to tell her of my years of practice, under the guidance of therapist Gary Rollins, of noticing the negative.  I told her how we instinctively, and perhaps through some learned behaviors, look away from yucky things…our yucky things.  This doesn’t apply to our love of watching others pain!  

If you smash your thumb with a hammer, your first instinct is to look away.  You don’t want to see the blood…your blood.  But, realizing that ignoring it will be more painful than dealing with it, you look back, clean it up, and bandage the wounds.  

I went on that life is just like that.  We instinctively look away from our wounds…which, in the emotional realm I call triggers.  In simple terms, triggers are upsets.  I told her about several things that triggered me, from Amory breaking the parking lot rules, to Sonya not taking care of herself the way she “should” in my opinion.  

I explained that it was pretty obvious when my 2 year old was missing…I clamped down on the parking lot rule.  The issue with Sonya more followed the look away rule.  I didn’t see my upset building…or rather I turned away…because I didn’t know what to do about it.  And the end result was a blow up type argument that could have so easily been prevented.  

The point…it will keep slapping you in the face until you acknowledge it…as we say to the twins at teeth brushing time…you will do this…the easy way…or the hard way.  

After this short explanation, I gave her a moment to reconsider…and now, after enjoying my pain (I gave 5 or 6 examples)…she found something irritating.  And she got in to it…telling me how irritating and why irritating…and all the details of what was irritating.  

And you know what…even as she described her “trigger,” her oxygen perfusion went up.  Sure enough…just talking about the irritation brought her up to 0.3.  Yes, that’s only a third alive, but much better than one fifth.  

Then we examined the charge.  Her stress originally was in the large intestine meridian, which, when you expand your understanding beyond western medicine and pooping…means criticism.  We tapped on the criticism she felt in this irritation…the real reason it was irritating…and, sure enough…she nearly came back to life (up to nearly 1.0).

The wonderful thing for me…as I see this all the time…and with past approaches have been less than successful in helping people achieve calm (and sometimes lead to increased “triggering” and yelling at me!!)…was that she was able to do just what I am here to do for people…notice…calm…and heal. 

In this case, it was merely the noticing how personal she was taking it.  Sometimes you have to hold a boundary…face a conflict.  She just had to laugh at herself.  And she did.  More nourished than when I greeted her!    And that translates perfectly into healing…

PS. She has already been featured in our amazing healing videos, and plans on an even more amazing video…! 

Stress Capacity: The Bucket Theory

If we dig in to any condition…thyroid problems, cancer, neuropathy, diabetes, etc., one common thread is stress.  Stress increases cortisol and adrenaline production, which is very useful in times of emergency!  It helps us escape…it helps us survive.  

Yet, when it is “turned on” or turned up daily, it compromises our blood sugar regulation, or oxygen delivery, our hormone balance, our digestion and absorption of vital nutrients…all physiological needs…requirements…you will develop SOME disease if you compromise your physiological needs day after day.  

It also leads to poor choices…it makes us crave sugar, alcohol, and other addictive habits.  

We all have a capacity for stress…and the stronger and healthier your body and mind…the greater your capacity.  I used to do a stress challenge in my seminars…we would eat about 70 grams of carbs (sugar)…in the form of cookies and juice, and measure our blood sugar after the seminar.  A person whose stress capacity is high would measure under 120, and the reigning sufferer of the lowest stress capacity measured over 400.  

If we think of this capacity as a bucket, our bucket sizes vary according to our current state of health and vitality.  Another consideration is, “how full is your bucket?”  You could have a thimble full to the top (blood sugar over 400 after our stress challenge), or a barrel with a few drops in the bottom (blood sugar under 120).  

Clearly it is obvious which one we want to be, or achieve, if our goal is health and happiness! 

What shrinks your stress bucket?  How do you end up with a thimble?  A:  Stress overload, over the long haul.  We all have days of stress overload…you go to bed early, feeling frazzled and exhausted.  When that becomes the “normal” day…every day, every week, month after month…you end up with a thimble. 

What fills our stress bucket?  How do you fill the bucket so you are spilling (stress overwhelm)?  A:  Compromised physiological needs…AND compromised emotional needs.  Both fill the same stress bucket. 

Physiological needs are simple…oxygen…glucose for energy production…nutrition to energize and oxygenate…and movement and thought to activate the central regulation hub of our energy and oxygen…the brain.  

Emotional needs include: certainty, variety, connection, significance, growth, and contribution. 

Here’s the kicker…stress can make you grow and connect, take action to feel significant…achieve financial and relationship security and feel more certain…which allows you to contribute to others and take nice vacations for a bit of variety.  

And stress can make you withdraw, lose focus, be inefficient, and effectively LOSE all these emotional needs, which is no less exhausting than severe anemia, low thyroid, or physical exhaustion.

It all depends on the capacity you have for stress.  How big is the bucket and how full is the bucket?!?

If your bucket is full all the time…it will exhaust your reserves.  If your bucket shrinks…you will be more and more sensitive to stress, sugar, exertion…you will be more sensitive to life. 

Then you have two choices…limit life…stress, sugar, and exertion…OR work on emptying your current bucket and building a bigger bucket.  A rocking chair at the nursing home…or like Jack LaLanne, swimming a mile pulling 70 rowboats…at age 70.  It all depends on your stress bucket.  Jack had a hell of a bucket at age 70, mostly through stimulation…exercise, and nourishment…fruits and veggies.  What if he knew about oxygen delivery and the whole gamut of emotional needs?  I’m not complaining for him…he lived 97 pretty awesome years.  BUT…scientists say we should all live 120 years (healthy years) based on calculations based on gestation periods and life spans in nature.  He did awesome…and could we (yes, you and I) do better with less effort?  

I personally don’t want to exercise 3 hours a day…that might be a path to a healthy 90+ years, but I think if we consider the whole stress bucket, we all could hit a healthy 97…or 120…by diversifying.  Let’s keep that as a goal, but the reality is that I see people as young as 20 and 30 in health crises…stress overwhelm, shrinking and full bucket.  

I measure oxygen perfusion in all my clients…and some bottom out on oxygen when I ask them to move the arm we are measuring…not a candidate for the Jack plan.  

Jack pushed his body (and mind) WITHIN its capacity…repetitively…and built up that bucket.  He filled it half full, maybe even full…and then fed his body…nourished, and rested….and emptied that bucket.  He probably never filled his bucket with blood sugar problems, anemia, or lack of nourishment (although as a kid he says he was a sugar addict).  He ate whole foods, is well known for his juicing machines, and more than likely had energy to contribute, grow, and be significant.  

He never spoke of these needs, so I assume he met them without intention…or intending to.  He did it because it felt good.  (Which is a good lesson for meeting our emotional needs…it always feels good).

He lived the process I am teaching…and here it is:  You have to notice your capacity, exercise within that capacity (and my version of exercise means anything that trains the brain, and can include thought and communication… any action or intention)…and grow that capacity.  

We can accomplish a bigger bucket through physiological nourishment…improving oxygen and glucose delivery…energized and oxygenated cells…which we accomplish through targeted nutritional support and treating your body kindly (treating injuries, balancing energy through stimulating meridians, centering your body in gravity, etc.)  And we can build a bigger bucket through improving emotional nourishment…certainty, variety, connection, growth, significance, and contribution.  

We have to start wherever we are…work within our stress capacity, and push the limits without overwhelming them.  We don’t want to miss any of our needs…simply consider them all.  A caretaker pattern meets contribution needs, but compromises significance, because they “over serve” others and don’t get what THEY want.  Not bad, but not good for the bucket.  It also compromises connection, because people who are over protected or over cared for do not grow…and they show you in the form of resentment or lack of appreciation.  

We can empty the bucket by eliminating unnecessary stressors such as artificial colors, preservatives, etc…food chemicals.  Most of my patients are on top of those changes.  We can empty the bucket by babying our blood sugar regulation hormones…it’s as simple as eating protein every two hours. 

We can empty our bucket by noticing our triggers…our emotional upsets…and noticing which needs are being compromised.  People triggered by disruption need certainty.  People triggered by unfairness need growth or contribution.  It’s not a hard and fast rule, but with a few questions we can easily figure out what needs are compromised.  

We can empty our bucket and build a bigger bucket by then demanding that those needs get met.  Not violently through accusations and demands, but through taking action towards your needs and asking for help.  

Whatever you are sensitive to…conflict, sugar, chemicals, exertion, ignorance, or stress itself…you are receiving a message that your bucket is full, and perhaps shrinking.  Any sensitivity can be desensitized by emptying your bucket and building a bigger bucket.  Bar none.

So, my challenge to you…is to take inventory of your stress capacity.  Just look at your sensitivities…if you hurt when you exert physically…your physical stress capacity needs help.  If you can’t eat sugar, at all, let alone 70 grams of pure sugar…your chemical capacity needs help.  If you are triggered, often and intensely, your emotional stress capacity needs help.  

Then do something to change.  For physical capacity, try gentle exercises and notice if you can exert 10% more in 3 weeks…see a chiropractor, a massage therapist, take some yoga classes.  And notice what makes you feel better…and repeat.  For chemical capacity, try protein every two hours, take some ashwagandha for cortisol, do a greens and protein smoothie every day with blueberries and spinach, all blended up.  Notice what makes you feel better…and repeat.  For emotional capacity, notice your triggers and use my article on triggers to categorize what you are needing.  Then ask for some agreements, allow others to struggle and learn on their own, do some Emotional Freedom Technique tapping…notice what makes you feel better…and repeat. 

Notice Your TRIGGERS!

I have identified 5 categories of Triggers…unfairness, ignoring, criticism, disruption, and ignorance.  Identifying triggers helps us identify our stress or inflammation patterns…identifying our patterns gives us an opportunity to change our lives and health. 

Unfairness:  My children are experts in the field of unfairness.  Every glass of lemonade MUST hit the same mark on the glass…popcorn must be counted out and evenly distributed.  “She’s got more than me!!”  Savannah, our eight year old, has watched the clock at bedtime, and notified me that I spent one minute longer laying with Sacred, our 6 year old, than I did with her, when I began to say goodnight to her…I stay one more minute…and she is satisfied.  Experiences of unfairness sensitize us to unfairness, much like too much sun sensitizes our skin if we burn.   

Ignoring:  Gates, one of our two year old twins, taught me a lesson of ignoring recently.  We were looking at a home to move in to…I was late, and the rest of the Stone crew was already running around the house.  I walked in and greeted the person showing the house.  He started telling me about the house, when Gates walked up and slugged me right in the groin.  He had zero tolerance for not being noticed and found a very effective way to avoid being ignored.  Experiences of being ignored sensitize us to being ignored until we “see” it everywhere. 

Criticism:  At a birthday party, Savannah shouted out the contents of a present, as the child was opening it up…the adults all laughed at her excitement, causing her to shrink into my leg.  She was so affected by this “criticism” that she wanted to be invisible.  If she could have crawled into my pocket, she would have.  Experiences of Criticism, sensitize us to being criticized. 

Disruption:  Sacred is fairly intolerant of disruption.  This is when her plans…her expectations… get messed up.  At times, Sacred will chase and play with the twins until they are all laughing so hard they can barely run.  But when she plays barbies…look out.  She has learned how to lock the door so the twins can’t “disrupt” her careful and intricate stories the Barbie boys and girls are living.  Sometimes they are having double weddings, and, when we talked about the Haiti Earthquake…they used nail polish to create the injuries of falling buildings on their barbies, and toilet paper to fully bandage all the survivors. 

Ignorance:  This is one of my triggers for sure.  Going back in time, I recall a simple statement from Sonya several years ago, that she was taking some herbs from her mom.  I was “guiding” her health at the time, and I looked at her with the “you’re stupid,” look.  I was incensed that she was ignorantly taking some herbs when I was trying to help her with my incredible knowledge base!  I don’t recall what I said, but it was defensive and hurtful…and the funny part is that I had no idea what the herb was at the time…and no knowledge if it could help her or hurt her.  I was the ignorant one. 

Triggers are like a bad sunburn and a buddy slapping you on the back.  If the skin sensitivity was normal, a nice pat on the back…even a good smack…is just a slap.  But with the sensitivity turned up, you will take notice and respond more dramatically.  You may jump, yell, frown, cringe, cry, or run.  The intensity of your reaction is in direct relation to the intensity of the sensitivity. 

Can you calm the sensitivity, just like a sunburn?  Absolutely.  You might know someone who takes criticism with appreciation, who responds to ignorance by improving communication, who sees unfairness as a normal part of life, who experiences disruption and can easily shift and “go with the flow.”  Sure, everyone has limits, we would all respond to a child being beaten, or dog, or a robbery.  We would also all respond differently. 

Noticing your triggers can be a significant assist toward healing your body. 

Honestly, I am still uncovering my sensitivity to ignorance.  Perhaps it comes from not being heard as a child…not understood…and not getting what I was needing.  Perhaps it comes from wanting certainty, which I didn’t have as a child…and my strategy for obtaining certainty…obtaining knowledge…Ignorance being the lack of knowledge (and really nothing more!!) 

Perhaps it was because of the many experiences I had where I felt like an idiot because I didn’t know…like when I wrecked my brother’s car by “popping the clutch” when I clearly should have known to hold that pedal down until the car was in neutral.  My brother’s anger brought home the point of how stupid I was, and I lost a valued vacation we were planning by breaking the car and the expense of repair. 

A simple glance back at the past will reveal some causes of your sunburn(s).  Noticing your triggers rather than discarding them or invalidating your upset is a significant movement towards HEALTH!