Disappointment

The five elements philosophy suggests that there are people who attract disappointment.  It suggests the reason, cause or initiating factor to be an experience of, “fear with a lack of acknowledgement or reassurance.”  These people have a “Water” imbalance.  

Water, in nature, is “the transformable.”  Flexible, sensible, it holds the energy of gratitude.  It holds patience, to create the Grand Canyon.  It can transform to fury…the death and destruction of a flood or tsunami.  

Water imbalanced people have problems with choices…they are either too frozen to make a choice, or too flexible and invite gullibility and “bad” choices.  Leaving them disappointed.  It is disappointing to see the results of no action…being frozen.  And disappointing to see people always letting them down (bad choices).

But water, void of fury or freeze, chooses instantly and never chooses poorly.  How is that possible??  It follows one simple rule… ‘The path of least resistance.’  But always towards its’ goal.  

A thinking human doesn’t have it so easy.  We can’t SEE the path of least resistance toward our goal.  It’s possible to see so clearly…and with practice, it can happen.  

But what SHOULD humans do when lost or confused?  Right…ask for direction.  Male humans too!! 

 

The energy of asking is the nourishment for water imbalance…for disappointment.  

If you are not sure if your partner would be more pleased with eggs or pancakes…you ask.  Yet a water person will make eggs and be disappointed with the response. 

If you are not sure of a person’s value to you, you ASK if they can provide eggs or pancakes or oatmeal, and choose your favored from the set of their possibilities (or decide to make your own!).  A water person would want oatmeal, and be disappointed with the eggs offered.

If you are not sure of a person’s willingness, you ASK if they are willing to meet your need.  Yet a water person… HOPES…that the person in front of them…will meet their need…without sharing what it IS! 

If you relate to water folks…try asking more.  Yeah, it sounds stupid and simple…but that is life…stupid and simple.  Ask of…would you be willing to…(whatever you want / need).  Ask permission…may I do this for you?  Ask in-to…how does that feel?  

Use your flexible nature to be flexible to the response…and ASK for more / different…do NOT use your flexibility…to put up with the disappointment. 

What to "Expect" with Natural Medicine

If you’re like most, and certainly me, you have past experiences and expectations from the philosophy of Medicine.  In a nutshell… give the condition a name, apply a symptom oriented medicine, and watch how it progresses for the rest of your life.  Seriously…many drugs are considered a success if they SLOW the progression of disease! 

 Clearly, the expectations for healing are ZILCH…ZERO…NADA.  To make it funny though, they legally prohibit us from treating their named diseases, so we cannot “cure” them.  Don’t worry, I treat people, not named diseases.  

So what do you expect in a health philosophy of digging for cause, and aiming for cure (healing…the normal physiological response), using natures medicines and nourishing foods?  

First of all, EXPECTATIONS are nothing but STRESS!  Ideally, we find growth and joy in the process.  I get that it is tough to enjoy the process when you are suffering, but what a perfect experience for growth.  Think about it… don’t we grow the most from painful experiences?

Let’s set our expectations to LEARN something very valuable that you will take forward in life, making you a more resourceful person.  

Maybe it will be how to include healthier foods in your diet.  I didn’t eat vegetables until I was in my 20s!

In fact, I learned a huge lesson about nourishment AFTER I thought I knew quite a bit about nutrition (eating my veggies).  It was the frequency of nourishment…I was eating very healthy foods, but going long hours without eating…and sure enough, I ended up with severe mold allergies and a chronic sinus infection that lasted almost a year.  

I learned in that process to ASK FOR HELP SOONER rather than later (I once asked a patient who had recovered from her sickness what she had learned in the process, and that was her response…ASK FOR HELP SOONER).  

I suffered many months that I didn’t need to if I would have called my doctor sooner.  (I learned when I was in my early 20s to call a natural doctor.)  I also learned a big lesson about plant medicine…the “Cure” for my problem was not something I had heard of…the lesson being that God / Nature has your solution if you keep looking (and asking for help in my case).  

Now I never stop researching plant medicines, and I always suggest you eat frequently.  (Protein every couple hours if your adrenals are toast!)

Maybe you will learn something about healthy boundaries, self care, or honest communication.  Or how to use plant medicines to maintain health when you are stressed and NOT ready or able to confront boundaries, take time for yourself, or “lay out your cards.”  

I learned honesty to save my marriage.  I remember vividly the night of “honesty”…I simply and awkwardly shared how angry I was (love withdrawal was my previous form of communication).  I soaked my shirt in sweat just trying to say what was in my body…but I forced it out.  

I think I said I feel like sometimes I hate her.  Something like that…and no…it didn’t melt her heart, but it did open the door to more honest communication that has grown since then…and occasionally regresses of course.  But the lesson I take with me…it is a resource that I still use, with a bit more compassion these days.  

Maybe you will learn something that I don’t even know to teach you, but if you have the expectation to learn, it will come to you…and maybe you will teach me what you then understand.  

If you hold this expectation…I virtually guarantee you that you will have amazing results and a wonderful experience.  You will look back fondly on your “suffering” as a guide to the wonderful resources that YOU NOW OWN.  Not Dr. Stone’s resources…YOURS!  

And that is a WIN for you and everyone you know and care for.  

I’m Depressed!

One of my clients recently wondered out loud if she should just “get something” for her depression.  It reminded me of the strange (in my opinion) associations we have with depression.

First of all, we think depression is a thing…some “thing” that attacks us like a virus, and we need the anti-biotic (anti-depressant) to be cured of it.  Second…there is nothing that can be done other than this magic pill, because it’s a “chemical imbalance in the brain,” and genetic, so it is our parents fault.  

One more…we (some?) also have an association that depression means we are “crazy” in some way, or something is wrong with us, so we rationalize that it is some-thing we are powerless to help…but thankfully, there is a drug.  

Personally, I think it is crazy NOT to feel depressed at times.  

Here’s more of my crazy opinions on depression…

Depression is normal.  If it is physiological…like from low thyroid…it is part of your body (regulation), saying…stop, rest…heal.  

If it is psychological, it’s not crazy-ness…it’s more lacking a resource to solve a problem.  

In either case, if it becomes chronic…over 6 weeks for instance…your body needs something to heal (my specialty)…or you are not “seeing” the problem, unconsciously attempting to ignore the problem, and “depress” the feeling.  (I also am quite an expert at pointing out your problems!)

Now, before someone yells at me for suggesting they are ignoring a problem…let me explain.  This is done unconsciously…it’s a reflex and you cannot NOT do it.  As I mentioned in another article, we are hardwired to look away from our own blood…and this applies to all painful experiences.  And just like with a bleeding wound, health comes from forcing ourselves to look at the problem and deal with it.   

I can’t tell you how many times I was surprised to hear anger come out of me towards my amazing and wonderful wife…only to figure out I had been “ignoring” a problem that I didn’t know how to fix.  Sometimes that outburst is the first clue that you get consciously.  And also the reason I practice and preach noticing the negative.  The better we notice, the less depression, and the less outburst-ing.

Another “weird” opinion…  All symptoms are messages, including the symptom of depression.  It is a signal that a change is needed…perhaps health…perhaps life…but definitely a change.  Using a Five Element model in my practice…which is something like the “life wheel,” requiring balance in all areas…it offers insight into both life and health.  It will not only tell you if you need less inflammation, it might say you need less defending…or better boundaries…or guide you toward the resource you need to resolve whatever problem you are experiencing.  

Seriously, I check all my life problems against the wisdom of the five elements…through muscle testing.  Every “problem” reveals a hidden hurt, upset, or a pattern of behavior that is keeping you in the problem.  And I can say with absolute certainty…no exceptions…the patients that do the best in my care are willing to hear any problem that comes up…large, small, ugly…even funny…and willing to respond to the problem…very important.  

Last “different” opinion...since depression is normal…and really a blessing…I might suggest we are all crazy…and dumb.  And, we all have pure genius within us as well…Regulation.  Regulation is “that something” that keeps our heart beating, lungs breathing, cells healing, adapting to life, and so forth.  Medications by definition are suppressors of the messages (symptoms such as depression) that we receive from Regulation.  If we choose to put into practice the skill of listening and responding to these messages, our lives becomes much more comfortable…sometimes even easy.  

Would you agree that an easy life is more enjoyable than a “hard” life?  Then embrace your depression and look for the message it is bringing you.  KNOW that Regulation is grabbing your attention, for a very good reason, and that reason is ALWAYS for your greater enjoyment in life.  

Disclaimer…I am not suggesting that a person should NOT medicate, as if my health strategies are an either/or with medicine.  I will use pharmaceuticals…AND, begin the process of inquiring into what the message is attempting to bring up for me.  Or, if the message is not so severe, ie. mild depression (or whatever symptom), I will just endure the discomfort and use the symptom as an indicator to know if I am on the right track.  Hint…the message will quiet when you are on the right track. 

Caution: Dangerous Bug Sweeping Nation

I have seen an outbreak of this in my practice, and many people are infected worldwide.  It is life threatening (depending on your definition of life), and it is contagious.  (mostly spread from parents to children.)

Signs of the infection:

“Should-ing” on yourself.  If you notice yourself frequently feeling unworthy because you should really be getting something done, you are probably infected.  

Bipolar behavior…happy when you do what you should and depressed when you don’t.

Tourette behavior…uncontrollable verbal outbursts, commonly heard as “idiot!,” “what’s wrong with you!?,” and “oh, my god!”  (Spoken to self)

If you have any of these symptoms…you may be infected…with a dangerous bug called Self Loathing!  (Don’t worry, it is curable with the right medicine)  

Step one: Notice who is should-ing on who.  Awareness that you are infecting yourself (and your kids, as they model your behavior, for better or worse) is half the challenge.  Once you notice, you can even make a point to pay attention to the positives, to override the habit of focusing on the negative.  The fact is you should never do anything you “should” do…you should only do what you want to do!  Consider the results also…you might want to eat a quart of ice cream, but do you really want to feel bloated and sleepy?  

Step two:  Try this attitude on for size:  We are born with ZERO resources.  We poop in our pants, our communication is terrible, we sleep a lot (Lazy!), we hardly accomplish anything in a day, and depend entirely on someone else for our basic needs.  WE ALL START THAT WAY!  No Resources.  

And, EVERYTHING WE TRY, we fail.  We screw it up.  We want to walk like all those big people around us, so we pull up, get on two feet, and BOOM, we take a header into the coffee table.  (Stupid…idiot…what is wrong with me!?)  But, since we don’t have that language (yet!), we simply notice that letting go too soon caused pain…or leaning too far to the right led to a poor result.  We added some experience and a tiny bit of resource.  

Somewhere, somehow, we developed a thought stream that failure is stupid, and stupid is bad.  It causes us to focus on the mistake and not the experience…or the resource.  What a block to growth!  

Imagine expecting failure in early attempts at anything and everything.  Good salespeople have this attitude…they expect 10 failures for every success.  Imagine looking for the wisdom in every failure.  Heck, we might actually become wise, or get up to 1 success for every 5 failures!  

Step 3:  This attitude is caused by a hypersensitivity to “Ignorance” AKA being stupid.  Hypersensitivities are shaped in our nervous system through experience.  That means that the reason you are so offended by stupid or ignorant people is because you had the experience of feeling stupid or ignorant.  

It might have been one BIG experience of Mom or Dad really getting mad because you made a mess out of something, or it can be slowly carved by the messaging of our culture…stupid is BAD!  We have “You’re stupid” looks and gestures…we laugh at painful mistakes, even have home video TV shows that highlight mistakes and pain.  I don’t mind the laughing, I find myself hilarious at times…what is missing in our culture is the value of mistakes (failure, screw ups, etc.).  The value of failure, if we focus on the value… is growth.  The detriment of focusing on the stupid-ness of the mistake is lack of growth.  

So we all have these hypersensitivities, what do we do?  

Hypersensitivity responses, in my experience, are best treated with acupressure tapping.  If you search for EFT, or Emotional Freedom Technique, you can easily locate and download a full system tapping protocol that works well.  Armed with your tapping regimen, you relax and recall the memories of stupidity.  As you recall the ones that make you squirm, or some emotional response, you perform the tapping.  As you approach the end of the tapping, you look for the value in that experience…you want to finish with a resource…some gathering of wisdom.  Repeat on every look you got from momma, embarrassing school experience, big trouble, etc.  And if you can’t find the resource in the experience…just tap and move on to step 4.  

Step 4:  When you notice the results…and you notice that they are not what you want…just like the baby, reach out your hand for stability.  Look to people with specialized knowledge, people who have already mastered walking, and make it look easy (or whatever you are trying to master)…and ASK FOR HELP. 

One common sign of infection (infected with self loathing) that I see in my office is not doing the diet right (eating “bad” foods) and not taking the supplements right (missing doses).  As well as, “I don’t exercise enough, stay up too late, don’t drink enough water, meditate, etc., etc.”  All those things you “should be doing!”  I often reply… “Oh, you too!?”  And then share how I am not doing what I “should be doing.”

I am a collector of resources, however, and I have managed to improve my health all while NOT DOING MANY THINGS I SHOULD BE DOING.  For instance, exercise…I pay gym dues and go to the gym about twice a month…but I have found a way to keep in decent shape with 5 minutes a day…in my office, or at home.  I eat pizza and chocolate several times a week, but have developed multiple ways to “pay off” my indulgences.  I don’t meditate but have found a way to calm my mind by tapping on my face.  I don’t stretch but I use exercises that challenge a full range of motion and increase flexibility. 

And every resource I have found, I found through asking.  Sometimes I ask by reading a book by someone who has mastered something I wish to master.  Sometimes by asking a colleague or friend, and others by hiring an expert.  

And, I choose my experts carefully…a white coat and big clinic do NOT equal expert in health.  Most of these people are experts in naming your disease and helping you manage it for life.  Success to that kind of expert is slowing down the progression of your disease.  

The experts I choose always fit my life philosophy.  I know that some of my experts are more expert than others, and I value their advice more heavily.  I know who my experts are and what they stand for. 

This way, I get advice that works for me to increase my growth process, and accumulation of resources.  And that makes life easier (nice!).

There you go…if you are infected…and chances are you have at least a mild case…you now have the 4 step de-lousing formula!!  I have been delousing for years, and still have some signs of infection.  These are grooves in our subconscious that can go pretty deep.  Follow this formula and you will notice improvement (not perfection), that just might approach perfection as you grow and increase resources.  

And remember, you will never have ALL resources, so you will always be “stupid” to some degree, in some fields, in some ways…don’t fight it, join the team! 

True Health Mission

"To impact global cooperation and happiness by teaching and guiding parents and families to meet their own needs, thereby multiplying their available energy.  Individuals and families with sufficient energy naturally share their energy.  A philosophy and practice of looking within to meet individual and family needs will not only improve health, it will allow access to passionate, value based action, improve self esteem, and increase the probability that each individual will discover and reveal his or her own deepest gifts to humanity.  A person sharing his/her greatest gifts will receive value and significance from others creating greater connection for people as a whole.  Each person we reconnect to Regulation (my term for internal wisdom) is a pebble of cooperation and happiness in the pond of humankind." 

Think about that one for awhile….

Imagine a growing number of people practicing this art of looking inside.  Ultimately, it is what I teach.  What I use to look inside are the messages your body is giving you every day (formerly known as symptoms), the nervous system through muscle testing and other neurological tests, and lab testing.  Labs are an actual measure of all the chemicals that are working for Regulation and for you increasing your likelihood of surviving another day. 

Using these windows to your internal wisdom, Regulation, we create a plan to work with Regulation and meet your greatest needs.  It might mean eating protein every 2 hours to assist exhausted adrenal glands with their primary J-O-B: balancing blood sugar.  It might mean taking an herb that supports a tired immune system. 

As each person experiences success in reading their internal messages, it increases connection to the most important person on the planet - YOU!  Your cells are concerned about only one thing: the health of themselves.  Your brain is concerned with only one thing: the health of your cells.  If you, the thinking you, gets on board with Regulation, the result is abundant energy. 

All your needs must be met in order to achieve this state, which is ultimately your GIVING state.  That means all your systems must be running amazingly well.  This state is devoid of sickness, disease, and suffering.  It is your BEST health insurance available.  (And it doesn’t mean perfection…Regulation finds that goal stressful!)

So you are healthy, happy, and energetic.  All your needs are met.  What next?  The natural flow is to spend your energy doing what you love…and when you do that over and over, you accumulate experiences that make you an expert.  What a concept, being an expert at what you love! 

When you are an expert at what you love, the natural flow is to share your expertise or genius.  And anytime you share genius, people are very appreciative.  Sure, as you develop your genius, there may be frustration…people not understanding or valuing your genius…maybe not even wanting it.  But, since it is what you love, you would never give up.  You would do this for free and have for most of your healthy life.  As you near genius (expert, gifted, awesomeness, etc.), more and more people want to hear what you have to say or experience what you provide. 

In the end you are rewarded with appreciation, (one currency being money), significance, and contribution (now you are really “rich” when you improve others lives!)  People love you, and of course, you love people who love you.  Connection!

People also want to be part of what you are providing.   And as a practiced listener, you don’t run into the troubles of people who drag you down.  You acknowledge feelings and intuition in your choices of who you surround yourself with, and you enjoy people who make you feel good. 

Also, you are never in fear of losing what you have because your greatest asset is within you.  And if you do lose something you value, it’s ok, because you have learned to listen to yourself.  You know and readily ask for what you want; therefore, you simply replace it. 

Again, there is a learning curve to this listening art, and you miss many messages along the way.  The missed messages always end up providing some pain or discomfort, but you see this as your most valuable lessons.  You know that what you don’t know can ONLY show up as pain or discomfort, and you have a growing community of experts in other areas of life with their own gifts, who will help you discover the next amazing resource that is clearly coming your way. 

Your growing community of listeners begins to make waves in the larger community.  People who are not listening are curious…they wonder about your big smile, not about how easy your life is, but how easily you clear life’s hurdles.  They are curious to know your secrets for all that energy and happiness.  How much life you have to give, when they struggle so much just caring for themselves and their family.

And of course…you share your secret, because you don’t want it to be a secret.  “Learn to listen…  Would you like to hear how I learned…?”

I truly believe the art of listening is that powerful!  I don’t claim to have achieved that level of listening, but as I practice, I see the process accelerating.  I don’t imagine that my practicing will ever be complete…or yours or anyone else’s.  Perhaps the one brilliant message of medicine is the term practice: medical practice.

I do want to invite you to practice, and perhaps, be part of the community that spreads this message of healing…not only the healing of the individual but of every person that individual touches as they learn to listen.  I think it could be quite profound! 

Deeper messages by Dr. Stone

Remember the SNL bit…Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handy?  Just to remind you…

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself. Basically, it's made up of two separate words — "mank" and "ind." What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why, so is mankind.

If you ever reach total enlightenment while you’re drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.

I believe in making the world safe for our children – but not our children’s children, because I don’t think children should be having sex.

                Deep Thoughts-By Jack Handy

Ok, that’s fairly random, and just for fun…but I do have a point here.  

THINKING DIFFERENTLY…yeah…that’s my point.  

If I am having a problem, and I have plenty…I try to attend to it by thinking differently.  Many times, this requires the help of someone to do the thinking (assessment) for me.  When I was struggling with mold allergies, I was completely stuck in trying to think outside my own box and figure out what was going on.  Only when I asked someone else to look at the situation (with a unique way of thinking and processing the situation), was I able to break the pattern.  

I will never stop asking for help outside myself, but I have made some discoveries that sure make my life easier.  

For instance…my shoulder has been bothering me all day…a really sharp pain when I bring it out to the side.  It was “grabbing” and “pinching” when I was driving if I brought my left arm up to rest on the window, or if I reached up to the top of the steering wheel.  I brag about my low tolerance of pain…so it may have been a 2 for the tough guys…but it was a 7 for me (rating pain 0-10).  It had my attention. 

A common thought process would be a rotator cuff problem…or I slept on my arm funny (I hear this explanation all the time and still don’t know what the heck it means!)…or bursitis…tendonitis…maybe even a pinched nerve.  

A common action would be to take a –itis pill…-itises are inflammation, so advil or aspirin.  (I wonder who taught us that association!?)  If it lasts a week or month (depending on your pain tolerance), call the orthopedist, because it is a joint problem, or maybe a sports doctor, or a chiropractor.  If the joint specialists can’t fix your joint problem… “well, I am 40 something…I guess this is how 40 feels.  I’ll just drive with my right hand.” 

But I think differently…and one of those different thoughts is that symptoms are messages.  From eastern medicine associations, I know that shoulder pain is often immune stress.  And I know that association well, because I had an autoimmune disease at age 1, allergies most of my life…and curiously, my shoulders always hurt.  

And I DO differently…so when all the kids were in bed, I sat down and checked in.  

One of the major…and I mean biggest…stressors of the immune system is adrenaline.  Most people think of infections, allergens, even toxins…but fix adrenaline (if it’s a problem) and most of your immune problems fade away.  

As I checked in…I found a weakness of the infraspinatus muscle.  This is one of the rotator cuff muscles, and  it is also associated with the thymus gland.  When I tested adrenaline over the thymus reflex point, a strong muscle I was testing weakened.  When I held a supplement called AdrenalCalm, which is a constant in our “medicine” cabinet, the muscle strengthened.  

Now whether you understand muscle testing or not, here is the result…  I massaged the AdrenalCalm behind my knees, tapped a point for the adrenals, rubbed the thymus reflex…and the PAIN WAS GONE.  I can fling my arm up to the side, pain free.  

How is that for instant gratification…compared to Advil…orthopedist…chiropractor…massage therapist…and finally… admitting I’m old!?  

But, I’m not done!!  Are you kidding me…I just had a 7 out of 10 pain message.  It said I was stressed out.  It said I was suppressing my immune system.  Is a dose of AdrenalCalm and tapping ENOUGH?  Heck no…I have to soothe that stress response into optimal balance.  With a quick look at my stressors…I had doubled up on caffeine the last two days.  I almost always drink coffee, but I had a Monster energy drink the last 2 days on top of my coffee.  

I’m not recommending Monster energy drinks for health…I do it for pleasure and understand the consequence.  In fact, I almost always pour the drink over ice, and squirt a shot of Passion Flower in to “pay off the indulgence.”  Regulation had reported to me that I was still in debt…with the shoulder pain.  Thank you regulation for the warning…I don’t want to get into the allergy bit again!  

So…I may lay off the Monster drinks (I don’t do it too often more because of the splenda than the caffeine)…and I will definitely stay on the AdrenalCalm for awhile.  (Which you should have in your medicine cabinet too!)  And keep checking in on the infraspinatus weakness, which is a “sign” that I missed until the pain directed me to look.  I bet if I would have looked closely in the mirror, my shoulder would have looked slightly drooped and the hand would have been turned inward…long before the pain began.  

I don’t perseverate or agonize over my health (clearly…since I was busted drinking poisonous energy drinks for a “buzz!”)…I trust that Regulation will give me a message (like the shoulder pain), and if I know how to listen…and respond…Regulation won’t have to kick my butt to get my attention.  

Now…Deeper Messages by Dr. Stone…

If your hands get numb and some orthopedist names it Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, a “bad” condition that needs scalpel discipline, perhaps you should love your pancreas, because this is an insulin problem.  (An extra dose of fish oils and protein every couple hours is a good start for insulin problems)

If your knee aches, and your orthopedist says a shaving and cleaning are required, perhaps you should be kind to your adrenals, because this is a cortisol problem.  (AdrenaCalm works on cortisol and adrenaline) 

If your low back “goes out,” consider inflammation or infection of the colon…especially if you have some bloating.  I have a product called Inf-Fighter in our medicine cabinet that is a good go to for tummy infections.  

Also, always consider your lifestyle.  Just a quick look at what I was doing revealed I wasn’t being very care-ful.  Don’t be perfect, but note where you are not “caring for” Regulation.  If you are like me, these little (or big) messages are there to adjust lifestyle as well as respond to the imbalance created with the lifestyle choices.  

  

These Deeper Messages will save you from feeling old (or coming to the conclusion that you ARE old)…suffering for great lengths of time…and wasting tons of cash on docs and therapists who will only consider your problem based on their specialty.  And I bet the knife doctors will find a “need” for surgery… and the pharmaceutical doctors will have a med for you…that’s the old, “if you are a hammer, everything looks like a nail” process.  

I…I will simply ask what regulation wants…and provide it (or recommend it).  Sometimes the need is an adjustment…or muscle work…or nutritional/herbal…and once I did find a need for surgical repair in one of my patients.  Most often, I find the associations I describe above…plus a little body work to heal the physical damage of being “out of balance.”