I have identified 5 categories of Triggers…unfairness, ignoring, criticism, disruption, and ignorance. Identifying triggers helps us identify our stress or inflammation patterns…identifying our patterns gives us an opportunity to change our lives and health.
Unfairness: My children are experts in the field of unfairness. Every glass of lemonade MUST hit the same mark on the glass…popcorn must be counted out and evenly distributed. “She’s got more than me!!” Savannah, our eight year old, has watched the clock at bedtime, and notified me that I spent one minute longer laying with Sacred, our 6 year old, than I did with her, when I began to say goodnight to her…I stay one more minute…and she is satisfied. Experiences of unfairness sensitize us to unfairness, much like too much sun sensitizes our skin if we burn.
Ignoring: Gates, one of our two year old twins, taught me a lesson of ignoring recently. We were looking at a home to move in to…I was late, and the rest of the Stone crew was already running around the house. I walked in and greeted the person showing the house. He started telling me about the house, when Gates walked up and slugged me right in the groin. He had zero tolerance for not being noticed and found a very effective way to avoid being ignored. Experiences of being ignored sensitize us to being ignored until we “see” it everywhere.
Criticism: At a birthday party, Savannah shouted out the contents of a present, as the child was opening it up…the adults all laughed at her excitement, causing her to shrink into my leg. She was so affected by this “criticism” that she wanted to be invisible. If she could have crawled into my pocket, she would have. Experiences of Criticism, sensitize us to being criticized.
Disruption: Sacred is fairly intolerant of disruption. This is when her plans…her expectations… get messed up. At times, Sacred will chase and play with the twins until they are all laughing so hard they can barely run. But when she plays barbies…look out. She has learned how to lock the door so the twins can’t “disrupt” her careful and intricate stories the Barbie boys and girls are living. Sometimes they are having double weddings, and, when we talked about the Haiti Earthquake…they used nail polish to create the injuries of falling buildings on their barbies, and toilet paper to fully bandage all the survivors.
Ignorance: This is one of my triggers for sure. Going back in time, I recall a simple statement from Sonya several years ago, that she was taking some herbs from her mom. I was “guiding” her health at the time, and I looked at her with the “you’re stupid,” look. I was incensed that she was ignorantly taking some herbs when I was trying to help her with my incredible knowledge base! I don’t recall what I said, but it was defensive and hurtful…and the funny part is that I had no idea what the herb was at the time…and no knowledge if it could help her or hurt her. I was the ignorant one.
Triggers are like a bad sunburn and a buddy slapping you on the back. If the skin sensitivity was normal, a nice pat on the back…even a good smack…is just a slap. But with the sensitivity turned up, you will take notice and respond more dramatically. You may jump, yell, frown, cringe, cry, or run. The intensity of your reaction is in direct relation to the intensity of the sensitivity.
Can you calm the sensitivity, just like a sunburn? Absolutely. You might know someone who takes criticism with appreciation, who responds to ignorance by improving communication, who sees unfairness as a normal part of life, who experiences disruption and can easily shift and “go with the flow.” Sure, everyone has limits, we would all respond to a child being beaten, or dog, or a robbery. We would also all respond differently.
Noticing your triggers can be a significant assist toward healing your body.
Honestly, I am still uncovering my sensitivity to ignorance. Perhaps it comes from not being heard as a child…not understood…and not getting what I was needing. Perhaps it comes from wanting certainty, which I didn’t have as a child…and my strategy for obtaining certainty…obtaining knowledge…Ignorance being the lack of knowledge (and really nothing more!!)
Perhaps it was because of the many experiences I had where I felt like an idiot because I didn’t know…like when I wrecked my brother’s car by “popping the clutch” when I clearly should have known to hold that pedal down until the car was in neutral. My brother’s anger brought home the point of how stupid I was, and I lost a valued vacation we were planning by breaking the car and the expense of repair.
A simple glance back at the past will reveal some causes of your sunburn(s). Noticing your triggers rather than discarding them or invalidating your upset is a significant movement towards HEALTH!
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