Ever have one of those days where you are sure your child
has lost her mind? Our youngest, Amory
(3), had just such a day recently.
At breakfast she was screaming at her twin brother because
he was too close to her. And…”you can’t
use my glass, don’t touch my plate…don’t say that…He called me stupid.” As we drove out to camping she was screaming
that she couldn’t wait any longer. When
we were walking down the trail, she sat down and said she couldn’t walk with
shoes on, and of course once we took them off the rocks were “too pokey” to
walk without shoes on.
So there we sat…life being too impossible to take another
step. What could we do? Should I demand that she walk? Should I just fix it and carry her?
The shoes were not the REAL problem. Nor was her brother, the plate, glass, words,
car, trail, etc., etc. She had a real
upset going on inside her and was acting this way instead of dealing with the
problem. And she’s 3…I don’t expect her
to share her feelings and talk about her problems. She probably didn’t even know why she was so
ticked off that day.
Something had triggered her upset. A trigger is a sensory event…something you
see, hear, or feel that ignites an emotional pattern.
I use muscle testing to tap into the nervous system, which
includes the energy systems described in eastern medicine. As I “asked” her unconscious nervous system
through her muscles, I discovered that she had been let down by her mother
(sorry moms, most kid upsets are your fault).
Amory expected Mom to punish, correct, or somehow protect her from her
brother taking her things. Once I got
the summary of what was REALLY bothering her, I started to ask some
questions. And one miracle I’ve
discovered is if you guess the right upset, you get their attention.
I also tapped an acupressure point that had a connection to
her emotion…which in this case was muddled or confused. The anger she displayed was her strategy to
stop feeling this “bad” feeling.
It works well to be playful with kids, so I asked if she
thought Mom should punch her brother.
She loved that one, and excitedly said “Yes!” I then explained that Mom wants her to be
strong and know how to handle it when people treat her unfairly. That mom loves her and knows she is not always
around to protect her. It might sound
like a bit much for a 3 year old to absorb, but I figure that the intention of
the words is understood, even if the words are not.
After the testing, tapping and talking…the trail no longer
seemed impossible. We walked up to where
the others were and told mom about the upset.
Mom reassured her as well.
About five minutes later, another family arrived. They greeted us and asked Amory for a
hug. I watched her walk over and give
big hugs (that would NOT have happened an hour earlier), and I felt incredible
gratitude for this wonderful gift of kinesiology…eastern medicine
philosophy…and meeting my (and your) kids’ NEEDS.
Compare that experience to another possible experience: forcing
her to walk or fixing the trail problem by carrying her. Or any other solution you might have come up
with.
I have seen this transformation so many times…in my own
children and also in the many others I have seen in my clinic. It creates so much ease in life with
families, I almost feel negligent for not sharing this amazing gift more!
No comments:
Post a Comment