I wouldn’t hire a person who passed a drug test!

Clearly, my hiring criteria is not “using drugs.”  In fact, I would never test a potential employee for drug use or abstaining.  I base my hiring on organization, responsibility, flexibility, compassion, and other values. 

 

The question I pose is, “Can you use drugs or alcohol and maintain these values?”  And, “Can you abstain from drugs and alcohol, and lack these values.”

“But, drugs ruined my sister’s life!”  No…not feeling “OK” or acceptable ruined your sister’s life.  Not the drugs.  She was “out of control” with her drug use because she didn’t feel acceptable/ok at her core. 

And guess what…testing her for drugs made her feel even less OK.  

Gaining control of one’s life requires validation.  “You are OK just as you are.”  If someone feels validated or “OK,” they will make choices in life from their higher values.  They will regain control.  

They may need to add resources such as how do I deal with feeling low…angry…sad.  Children lose control when they feel these emotions.  If they are never taught how to deal with them resourcefully, they continue to lose control as adults.  

Here are some methods we use (when we remember):

You started the couch on fire (name the problem)…you must have wanted my attention (guess the need, also validating…assuming positive intent but lacking resources)…you may not set the couch on fire (set the boundary)…if you want my attention, you can say, “momma, I really need you to see me or hear me.”  Try it now…you can do it… (teach a resource)

Mantras: 

“If you are not getting what you want…try a different approach.” 
“If the person in front of you is upset, ask what they want.”
“If you are upset with the person in front of you, tell them what you want.”

Remind…remind…remind…remind…and then… “would you like my help/advice?”  

Alcohol and drug use, when out of control, are evidence of lacking resources to process painful feelings and emotions.  Don’t make them wrong…it is their best resource to date.  Almost everyone has used drugs to escape, whether recreational or prescription.  (No difference in my opinion, except that most recreational drugs are natural, and therefore have fewer side effects!)  

What resources have you discovered to gain control in your life?  Tell them about your out of control, so they feel normal, ok, and acceptable.  Then share those resources.  

Hopefully, you see my comment is a stimulus (intended) for critical thinking.  “Is that true?”  “What is the root cause.”  My opinion is a lack of validation…a lack of OK-ness. 

Important Brain Health PSA

Spiders are a critical part of our ecosystem.  Terminix posted 298 Million in revenue in the 4th quarter of 2013, in part for the service of killing spiders.  The chemical insecticide used for spider control was evaluated in the Journal "Toxicological Sciences" and discovered that exposure activates brain immune defenses and inflammatory chemicals.  When we observe the brains of alzheimers patients, we notice brain immune defense activation and inflammation.  We also recognize that sugar and aluminum cause the same effects in the brain. 

This brings to mind the concept of the "tipping point."  At what level of exposure to insecticides, aluminum, and sugar do we experience the tipping point, resulting in memory loss and confusion.  You'll never know until you get there! 

My recommendation is to use brain "sharpness" as your indicator.  If you have dulled a little bit...focus, memory, attention...it's time to tip the scales BACK toward sharpness.  Skullcap and chamomile are two plants that calm and clean the brain immune system.  Avoiding further exposure as much as possible (cancel that terminex membership, get rid of aluminum cookware, decrease sugar and refined carb intake) is indicated. 

Brain "sharpness" SHOULD increase with age, as wisdom is accumulated...but offset by immune activator accumulation.  Be SMART...and take this bit of advice for BRAIN HEALTH.  Do it for your sharpness, and the environment, which includes creepy spiders. 

Resolution...failed...again

My resolution was to stay positive…respond to people, news, concepts, ideas with an uplifting message.  Failed already.  

I don’t think I am an overly negative person, but I often make fun of other ways of doing things, particularly the mainstream medicine approach to chronic conditions.  Sometimes I even get frustrated and defensive about the ideas and actions of medicine.  

For example, the overuse of antibiotics…very personal to me, since that was how I began my life…many rounds of antibiotics followed by a nasty autoimmune disease that nearly took my life.  (ITP, the platelet disorder).   Twice last year this subject came up…I gave my little rant (in a sense, saying, “that’s stupid”)…and both times I think I offended the person I was talking to.  Well, one for sure, because she let me know!  

So, I resolved to stay positive…whenever something comes up that incites making fun or defensiveness, my plan is to share something positive in the other direction.  For example,if I saw a little toddler with food allergies and a history of antibiotic use, instead of ranting about how damaging antibiotics are, I’ll post something on the success of our immune protocols.  

Simple, right…and really, far more productive if my goal is teaching, and even influencing others to use natural medicine.  But I failed, and I won’t get into my defensiveness, but I will share my positive message. 

It is the message of ignorance.   I write about ignorance frequently, because I think it is truly “enlightened wisdom.”  And if it ain’t, it’s at least a less stressful way of living.  

I want to invite you to join me in working toward the complete acceptance and appreciation of our own ignorance.  

Ignorance is defined as the lack of knowledge or information.  Knowledge is defined as awareness of fact or truth.  But what the heck is a fact…and even more muddled is the concept of truth.  They say mathematics is exact and true, but quantum physicists are showing that depending on perspective, even math rules change.    

Here is an idea…a concept that could challenge your facts and truth…and the first lesson of ignorance.  If we “know” how things are, the moment anyone says something that conflicts with our “truth,” we tune out and start creating our rebuttle.  But if you accept ignorance, you can hear ANY concept and “try it on for size”…see if it fits comfortably…see if it enhances your life, or decreases your stress.  Maybe it doesn’t, and you toss it aside and maintain your truth, but at least you heard it.  (Knowing prevents learning) 

The idea or concept: I believe that there is no such thing as fact…or even truth.  Everything is based on perspective.  Oh, we could go back and forth a million times, so let’s offer up a couple truths that are merely perspective.  

‘The sun comes up every morning.’  Check your facts with someone living in Alaska.  

‘Giving to others is good.’  Check your facts with someone who has been robbed at gunpoint.  

Perspective. 

 

If you have a desire for wisdom, I believe the first step is ignorance.  Letting go of truth or fact…and allowing the absorption of perspective.  When you see from the perspective of all people, you see from the perspective of God.  (And I’m ok calling that universal intelligence the Zero Point Field, or Prana, or Chi or Qi, depending on your perspective)

As soon as you buy into fact, you begin deleting people and perspectives.  And you delete awareness and wisdom.  For example, some people who believe in Christianity, also believe that everyone else is wrong, and would not gather wisdom from a Buddhist teaching.  And the same thing happens with men and women, democrats and republicans…there’s a good example of not hearing another perspective…politics!  

Imagine a political world where both republicans and democrats stopped defending their point and listened, absorbed, and tried on the others opinion.  And, since they are working for the same thing, our country, they compromised, and sought a best solution that included both perspectives.  Wow!  Only through letting go of truth.  

Now, the reason this is a resolution is that I am a long way from this unifying, serene existence.  I have lived in a culture that rewards being right, and penalizes being wrong, and the difference between the two is standardized from a culture that is hardly “getting it right.”  I’ve practiced being right and veiling my ignorance all my life.    

So…I am not very good at being ignorant.  As I mentioned, I have this tendency to make fun of or make wrong any ideas outside mine.  I have resolved to practice step one toward universal wisdom…stop defending my perspective.  I will work on seeing the other perspective, and with practice, I may develop that awareness.  What I believe I can do, right away, is turn any defensiveness or rightness into something positive, and stop tearing others down.    

Will you join me?  We can keep expectations low…so we can’t fail.  None of us are GOOD at ignorance.  We’ll still react with what we have practiced for so long…but when we feel that “bad” feeling, we can notice it…take a breath…and (try to) stop defending our truth, redefined as our perspective?  We do NOT have to give up our perspective to see someone else’s.  We just have to stop defending ours, which could allow us to actually see or hear theirs.  

And what is there to defend.  Most truths have been discovered inaccurate or incomplete.  And the rest likely will be found inaccurate in the next generation…or the next.  So what are we defending!?  As awareness expands…as Columbus failed to fall off the edge…truth changes.  

I still defend…and I did so very recently.  But I am acknowledging the defensiveness and turning it into a positive through sharing my perspective. 

I know I can stay positive…I do it regularly.  I know I can notice the defensiveness…I know the feel, I know the language, and I can pay attention.  I know I can choose to respond differently.  Maybe not always in time…but I will notice and make another choice.  And practice…and practice. 

And that is one “truth” that has stood the test of time…across all generations and lifetimes, all human experience has shown that whatever you practice, you get better at…and what a great thing to practice.  Stop defending, and offer a positive, perhaps uplifting message.   

I hope you will take this seriously and join me in taking a step toward accepting ignorance.  It’s impossible to deny…we are, in fact, quite ignorant on many subjects.  Join me in Trying…Practicing!  

Imagine the result….

“You, Dr. Stone, are a pompous idiot.”  

“Really…that is a VERY interesting perspective…what led you to believe that?”  

Wouldn’t that be a LESS STRESSFUL way to move through life?  Could you imagine how that person would respond if you didn’t reject their perspective?  Seems worth practicing…

The Intelligence of Omega Fats...AKA Dr. Stone (was) a Dummy

I was very average in school, had very poor basic recall/memory skills, and passed college by cramming all night until I could recite enough to pass the test, and of course forget it by the next day.  I sat in the back of the room and hid so I would never get called on.

Until…  After my first year of increasing omega three essential fatty acids, I said something I will never forget!  I said, “docosahexaenoic acid,” during a class to my patients.  It was like my brain finally “caught” the information I was giving it, and, to my own surprise, it was available for me to say, use, and even teach! 

Ever since that time, I sit in the front of the room during seminars, versus a lifetime of the very, very, very back seat…because it is fun when your brain captures information…and definitely not so fun when it doesn’t.  (Don’t call on me!)

When I started omega three’s, which are abundant in fish and flax, and some in walnuts and greens/grasses, the fact was that I hadn’t ever eaten an omega 3 in my life.  Seriously…I hated veggies well into my 20s, hated fish except for an occasional fish fry (deep fried oils will make you just as unable to catch information!), never heard of flax, and peanut butter was my only “nut” intake.  The rest of my diet was campbells soup, baloney sandwiches, cereal and milk (the good stuff, Cap’n Crunch), and tombstone pizza.

  

Go ahead, find an omega 3 in that diet!  

Here’s the story I heard…from a professor that knew a lot of big words…

Omega 3 oils must be in balance with omega 6 oils…ounce for ounce.  Most foods have some of each oil…omega 3, 6, and 9 (think olive oil).  I already mentioned the few foods with a higher ratio of omega 3’s…and it turns out that omega 6’s come from grains and seeds (except flax seed).  And the ratio of oils in these grains varies from 20 to 1 up to 60 to 1 (corn being the highest ratio).  

Professor smarty pants cited a study that showed that DISEASE IS GUARANTEED when the overall ratio of omega 6 to 3 reaches 4 to 1.  No, it is not the only cause of disease…but it WILL “light the fuse” to express your worst genetic potential.  And the higher the ratio, the faster you will achieve Grandpa’s disease.  

And light the fuse is exactly right.  At 4 times more omega 6’s than 3’s, it begins a cascade of inflammatory chemicals called prostaglandins and leukotrienes (who’s the smarty pants now?) that will cause a “sunburn” on your most genetically susceptible tissues…Intestines, muscles, joints…any –itis you can name (arthritis, gastritis, etc.).  And just like a sunburn makes your shoulders sensitive, inflammation makes whatever internal tissue it is affecting more sensitive…to foods, gravity, changes in weather, etc. 

In fact, I believe that the majority of people with gluten sensitivity or food allergies, are actually inflamed and sensitive…and some foods, like gluten, are more irritating to the intestinal lining (when sunburned), just like wool is a bit more scratchy on sensitive skin.  

So…keep your omega 3 to 6 ratio close to 1 to 1 and you defeat this inflammatory source, making you less sensitive…and more resilient.  PLUS…these fats build the “brain” of every cell in your body, including your brain cells.  It builds them more flexible (easier to catch information, hormones, and brain chemicals such as serotonin (the antidepressant chemical).  

In fact, Harvard medical published a study in 1997 showing that high dose fish oils caused greater “leveling out” of Bipolar patients than any of the current Medications!  

Another benefit…they are also helpful to cheat!  Think I avoid corn chips because they are so unbalanced!?!  Nope, I eat them and then take some extra fish oil to keep the balance.  (I generally get organic corn anything to avoid GMOs)  I add fish oils whenever my grain intake increases to keep the Omega 6 to 3 ratio under 4 to 1, and prevent activating my worst genetic potential. 

Some of the seeds that are appearing on the shelves more recently,…hemp and chia for example…are balanced sources of essential fatty acids.  I still haven’t incorporated them (I have tried the chia pudding, and adding the seeds to smoothies…but it was just too painful to form a habit)…so if you have a pleasurable (at least not painful) way of using them, let me know!

What to "Expect" with Natural Medicine

If you’re like most, and certainly me, you have past experiences and expectations from the philosophy of Medicine.  In a nutshell… give the condition a name, apply a symptom oriented medicine, and watch how it progresses for the rest of your life.  Seriously…many drugs are considered a success if they SLOW the progression of disease! 

 Clearly, the expectations for healing are ZILCH…ZERO…NADA.  To make it funny though, they legally prohibit us from treating their named diseases, so we cannot “cure” them.  Don’t worry, I treat people, not named diseases.  

So what do you expect in a health philosophy of digging for cause, and aiming for cure (healing…the normal physiological response), using natures medicines and nourishing foods?  

First of all, EXPECTATIONS are nothing but STRESS!  Ideally, we find growth and joy in the process.  I get that it is tough to enjoy the process when you are suffering, but what a perfect experience for growth.  Think about it… don’t we grow the most from painful experiences?

Let’s set our expectations to LEARN something very valuable that you will take forward in life, making you a more resourceful person.  

Maybe it will be how to include healthier foods in your diet.  I didn’t eat vegetables until I was in my 20s!

In fact, I learned a huge lesson about nourishment AFTER I thought I knew quite a bit about nutrition (eating my veggies).  It was the frequency of nourishment…I was eating very healthy foods, but going long hours without eating…and sure enough, I ended up with severe mold allergies and a chronic sinus infection that lasted almost a year.  

I learned in that process to ASK FOR HELP SOONER rather than later (I once asked a patient who had recovered from her sickness what she had learned in the process, and that was her response…ASK FOR HELP SOONER).  

I suffered many months that I didn’t need to if I would have called my doctor sooner.  (I learned when I was in my early 20s to call a natural doctor.)  I also learned a big lesson about plant medicine…the “Cure” for my problem was not something I had heard of…the lesson being that God / Nature has your solution if you keep looking (and asking for help in my case).  

Now I never stop researching plant medicines, and I always suggest you eat frequently.  (Protein every couple hours if your adrenals are toast!)

Maybe you will learn something about healthy boundaries, self care, or honest communication.  Or how to use plant medicines to maintain health when you are stressed and NOT ready or able to confront boundaries, take time for yourself, or “lay out your cards.”  

I learned honesty to save my marriage.  I remember vividly the night of “honesty”…I simply and awkwardly shared how angry I was (love withdrawal was my previous form of communication).  I soaked my shirt in sweat just trying to say what was in my body…but I forced it out.  

I think I said I feel like sometimes I hate her.  Something like that…and no…it didn’t melt her heart, but it did open the door to more honest communication that has grown since then…and occasionally regresses of course.  But the lesson I take with me…it is a resource that I still use, with a bit more compassion these days.  

Maybe you will learn something that I don’t even know to teach you, but if you have the expectation to learn, it will come to you…and maybe you will teach me what you then understand.  

If you hold this expectation…I virtually guarantee you that you will have amazing results and a wonderful experience.  You will look back fondly on your “suffering” as a guide to the wonderful resources that YOU NOW OWN.  Not Dr. Stone’s resources…YOURS!  

And that is a WIN for you and everyone you know and care for.